hey, sweetie

On allowing love.

I had a really interesting thing happen a week or so ago. Maybe you saw the subject line on my email that lit up the fire brigade: “Hey sweetie.”

Let’s just say, I’ve been calling my Flowdreaming contacts, students and friends by terms of endearment for….a long time, but not forever.

In the beginning, I wasn’t intimate or affectionate. I wanted to be seen as professional. I was also less secure in myself, so I tried to never rattle anyone, offer any political views, or do anything I thought my detract from my main message: “Learn to Flow; it’ll change your life.” It was a good justification for trying to shield myself from being disliked.

Read More

Where will you be in 3-5 years?

Where will you be in 3-5 years?

2020 was not just a hard year for many, but it’s made a moulding impact on us.

We changed behaviors. We changed routines, structures. We modified relationships. We placed boundaries on friendships and family that never were there before.

And above all, we adopted a feeling of “just put this off for awhile”: our haircuts, nails, fine dining, trips, seeing family, weddings, funerals, housekeepers, gyms, going into work, going to school….you name it, there’s probably been a “pause button” on it at one time or another.

It means that I’ve been, and am continuing to, condition myself to not do things.

Read More

2020 gave us gifts (here’s what they are)

2020 gave us gifts. Here’s what they are.

I’m sitting here wrapping up work for the year, planning on taking a few weeks off for the holidays. I feel like before I go, I want to send you all a note about this year. This crazy, crazy year.

Like you, I started 2020 dreaming up big things for myself and others. And like you, I found myself stuttering and swerving as more and more fear and ridiculousness swung my way: COVID-19, the California wildfires and unprecedented number of hurricanes, the fight for BLM, and a near miss with the breakdown of democracy in the U.S. Unfathomable. It’s as if the Universe rolled up all it had and tossed it to us: “Take that, Americans. If you don’t learn from this, I don’t know what it’s gonna take.”

And learn we have.

Read More

The pattern master

The Pattern Master

(Another long but good article on why we bother with personal growth.)

I’ve been sending my book manuscript out to agents lately. I wrote what I thought was a rippin’ hot pitch letter and included the juiciest bits of my writing samples.

I’ve had just four replies, all rejections.

Then, last night I was lying in bed watching “(Un)well,” a new TV show that explores all kinds of alternative therapies. The first show was about essential oils. And it struck me: they were explaining things that I already knew about, that I already “got,” there was nothing new here. But they were acting as if I’d never heard of oils before and was clueless about the whole exciting and dramatic industry!

I realized in that moment that my pitch letter has been falling on deaf ears. I’ve been acting like every potential agent already knows all about patterns, blocks, and personal growth. I’ve been approaching them like they’re insiders, long-timers. They’re not. Most of them have barely heard of Tony Robbins. They’re probably wondering what the hell I’m writing about.

Read More

The Flower That Grows Too High Is The First To Be Cut

There’s an old saying that the flower that grows too high in the field is the first to be cut.

In other words, don’t stick out.

Which is also saying, “Don’t be seen.”

Except that being seen is exactly what you’re striving for. Everything you offer to the world is something you’ve made, written, done, carved, studied for, put together, etc. You’re wanting an audience for it. You want clients for it — customers, admirers, readers, viewers, consumers. You want people to share it with.

You say you try to be seen all the time. “I write newsletters! I speak on stages! I get in front of the room to read my latest proposal to the team. I stick my hand up in meetings and I even have a gorgeous website to showcase myself on.”

But is that enough? Because at some point, you back down. You give up. You slink away and say, “I tried and they rejected. It always happens.”

And that is that. You grow no taller than the flowers around you. To go any further would be too risky. Something would be put on the line. The bigger flowers are right: you are not good enough.

Ooof. That hurts.

Read More

I made the mistake of spending too much time on my phone last night—swipe swipe swipe

I made the mistake of spending too much time on my phone last night—swipe swipe swipe

I sniffled into my pillow around 11 pm, miserable and thinking that we are all gonna die, starve, or be homeless. (Oh my god, I know, I know better.)

So I totally get your feeling of sliding between two crazy poles of fear and calm right now. It’s like an army has invaded our country, except it’s made of the people we love and the viruses they harbor. Now what? You can’t fight that with a missile.

Read More

How I’m turning a crazy time into a peaceful, productive, focused time

How I’m turning a crazy time into a peaceful, productive, focused time.

I’m thinking a lot about this right now.

I’m seeing peers still lobbing emails about new programs they’re launching as if nothing in the world is going on. I’m seeing my local theaters assuring me that all the seats are wiped down. And I’m hearing that the stock market is just a wreck.

I am wondering what all this means, and how long it will last, and what each of us is going to do to weather it.

Because there is A LOT we can do. I am constantly reminding myself that it’s never about what’s happening around you. It’s about how YOU are happening to it. Here are a few things I’m doing right now:

Read More

Everything you hear from me is going to be insanely, freaking positive

You know how I’m handling this? 

By making everything you hear from me going forward be incredibly positive and proactive.

Yup, this is gonna be the one blog you will be looking forward to getting over the next few weeks or months.

Because, I’m thinking that’s what I need to hear, too, right now from someone, anyone!

What will make me feel calm? In control? Absolutely facing everything head on, and yet also optimistic and sure that I’m on the right track and doing the right things through this?

Is anybody in the news or government going to give me these kinds of feelings? I don’t think so. 

They are all busy falling off the end of the earth. So I’m going to make these feelings happen for me, and you too if you want it. Read on, friends.

Read More

What 2020 will give us in this new interesting era…

I don’t forecast often, but I can’t help but think about how this virus will change us, as a culture.

What I see is that things that were “optional” are now becoming essential. Here’s are a few things I expect to see go big in 2020:

1. More work-from-home opportunities. Yeah, if you work in retail or manufacturing, you’ll still be driving to work. But I’ve managed a virtual team in my company for seven years. It is wonderful. Now a bunch of mainstream companies are going to offer more of it, too.

2. Netflix, Hulu, TV, podcasts and entertainment services in general are going to have to keep up with demand. Talkshows will record to empty audiences. But they will still reach your living room. Binge-watching is about to hit new levels.

Read More

The Top 5 Positive Affirmations for Women

You roll out of bed and it’s early. Everyday it feels too early.

Brush your teeth, examine your face in the mirror with pink pillow line indents still migrating on your cheeks, and you shuffle into your clothes. Is there coffee? Maybe. Or perhaps just green tea this morning because you’re trying to be healthy. Out the door and off you go.

What’s missing, gals?

What is your intention for the day? Have to offered your next 12 hours any direction . . . like fruitful and bountiful thoughts? Or are you on autopilot to just take whatever comes? Let’s fix that. I know I don’t talk enough about affirmations, but they are one of the most important intention-setting aspects of your day.

Read More