Flowdreaming Podcast 603: Heart-Rending, Tear-Streaming Joy

A strange side-effect of both having had cancer and of practicing flow for so long…is that I can open to pure, exquisite, heart-rending, tear-streaming joy.

 On demand. For real. I share how I do it, how it feels, and thoughts on how this strange ability may have been created. Come join me! Then get your own joy with the Pure Inner Ecstasy Playlist at Flowdreaming.com.

The 5 best things I did this year (and it ain’t over yet)

The 5 best things I did this year (and it ain’t over yet)

1. Relearned the lesson that hard work does not always equal more success. Hard work ≠ Success. Word. Do you need to hear that again, or can I have learned it again for all of us?

2. Took a vacation. Vacations are not luxuries. They aren’t for when you’ve earned them due to hard work (see above.) They are necessary breaks for your brain and heart that let new ideas filter in through the cracks. No vacations = no new ideas, no new nudges. No new nudges = your forward momentum stops and you start spinning instead.

Old habits, new habits and why procrastination is poison

I found myself drifting into old habits this year. After two years being essentially “clean” from those demons fear and lack, those nasties found their way into my bed again.

This year, I launched a new company: inflowradio.com. I knew it’d be work. I knew I’d have to shift my focus and become a magician at keeping balance. But I fell off the tightrope.

The habit I broke during chemo (of going into fear and lack) was just waiting for a weak moment. It was waiting for my next big challenge.

Big challenges are where your old habits can find a grip again.

Will I live five more years or fifty?

You know that feeling when you haven’t talked to someone in a long time, and each time you try . . . you think about how awful you’ve been that you haven’t talked to them in so long?

And so your fingers stick on the keyboard, and the phone remains untouched in your purse or pocket. You just don’t know what to say. How do you begin?

That’s how I feel now.

I left you all somewhere in the middle of December, after my last chemo, bald and floppy and utterly wiped out. And then … silence. Nine months of it. Holy cow. Where have I been? Where did my life go? Where has yours gone?

Here a brief catching up: I’m in remission from Stage 2 breast cancer. I had six months of chemo, two months of daily radiation, three months of lymphedema therapy, and three surgeries in just about one year. Add on heapings of the alternative therapies and healings (herbs, qi gong, acupuncture, Reiki, rebounding, juicing, shamanic journeying, and emotional cleansing) and you can see how busy I’ve been.

Being sick and getting well can really take up your life.

Right now, it’s a gorgeous Sunday morning. My orange and pink roses are firing off blooms in front of my window, my family are all still asleep, and I feel like I’m just waking up.

I mean, really waking up.

Waking back into life.

I’ve leaned a hella lot about cancer this year. And I’ve learned even more about the way we think, feel, and anticipate (or brace for) life. My own personal life goals jumped tracks and landed in all new territory.

“Go with the Flow” has a much richer, deeper meaning.

The concept of manifesting is much more nuanced and interesting.

One thing I learned is that cancer, or any illness that can come back, plays with your head. Is it gone or isn’t it? Am I safe or am I still in danger? Will my body cooperate, or is it going to kill me?

I jokingly refer to this dynamic, and the uncertainty that’s always bubbling below the surface, as the 5-year and 50-year plan. (My husband hates it when I talk about this, because it’s … you know … talking about death.)

Stressed? My favorite way to drop it.

 

 

Once a month, I take a flex week. This is a week where I may work, or I may not. But I don’t schedule any of my normal work.

Instead, it’s my week to daydream, see my friends, go on a mid-week overnight trip with my family, or just chill out for a few days.

Pretty nice, huh?

I worked hard to create this life. Moreover, I Flowdreamed consistently and took committed, inspired action toward it.

But as with everything, I have to allow myself some regular downtime in between all my work and manifesting. I need to clear the space and detox.