Why “Adventuring” Is the Next Big Thing

Yesterday I had a private session with a delightful lady who was stuck in the mud. Not literally, of course. But her whole life (her flow, her vibe) was one stalled out, stuck, endless loop of indecision and subsequent anger at herself for being in this predicament.

“I’m stuck,” she said to me.

“I know,” I replied. “How’d you get this way?’

“I was hoping you’d tell me,” she said.

We picked and pulled on threads that led her to this point. But more importantly, I like to find solutions. I like to find open doorways that lead to the next point.

Being stuck is actually a misnomer. You’re aren’t stuck; you’ve just been sitting there at a pivot point for so long that you started to think all the roads and choices you had have disappeared.

They haven’t. You’ve just gotten blinder to them.

So how do we fix that?

every pony does not need to ridden

I got as far as downloading the Clubhouse app to my phone, and my fingers froze desperately over the fateful “tap.”

ME: Ah crap, I’m thinking, not another social media platform. They’re like ice cream flavors of the week.

OTHER ME: But my friends are there! All these interesting movers and shakers are there! It’s my medium too—all talking, I whine. I’m missing oooouuuutttt. Please. Pleeeeease.

ME: Stop it, Summer.

Friends, I had a MySpace page. It was very hip and cool, and just by using the words hip and cool, you know exactly how old hip and cool I am.

But then came Facebook like a steamroller, and we all became Facebook.

Beautiful little pieces

Just as we’re all taking our first collective breath and feeling like things are finally actually changing, so many of us wobbled and fell. 

It’s like we held an extraordinarily hard yoga pose for so long that as soon as we got some permission to move, we collapsed.

I’m not sure what crazy drama is happening right now in the actual or astrological heavens, but this last week or so, I’ve seen more melt-downs and falling-to-bits-moments in my family, friends, and clients, than in a long while.

Knock on wood (and Flow!) that I’ve been the post holding the fence, the pillar holding the roof, and I’m grateful to have been.

But it’s made me reflect on why and where this ability to maintain course comes from.

I want to share one thing I’ve done to keep my mind feeling clear and relaxed, even amid the chaos. I urge you to do this too. It takes just 5 minutes. 

Where will you be in 3-5 years?

Where will you be in 3-5 years?

2020 was not just a hard year for many, but it’s made a moulding impact on us.

We changed behaviors. We changed routines, structures. We modified relationships. We placed boundaries on friendships and family that never were there before.

And above all, we adopted a feeling of “just put this off for awhile”: our haircuts, nails, fine dining, trips, seeing family, weddings, funerals, housekeepers, gyms, going into work, going to school….you name it, there’s probably been a “pause button” on it at one time or another.

It means that I’ve been, and am continuing to, condition myself to not do things.

2020 gave us gifts (here’s what they are)

2020 gave us gifts. Here’s what they are.

I’m sitting here wrapping up work for the year, planning on taking a few weeks off for the holidays. I feel like before I go, I want to send you all a note about this year. This crazy, crazy year.

Like you, I started 2020 dreaming up big things for myself and others. And like you, I found myself stuttering and swerving as more and more fear and ridiculousness swung my way: COVID-19, the California wildfires and unprecedented number of hurricanes, the fight for BLM, and a near miss with the breakdown of democracy in the U.S. Unfathomable. It’s as if the Universe rolled up all it had and tossed it to us: “Take that, Americans. If you don’t learn from this, I don’t know what it’s gonna take.”

And learn we have.

I made the mistake of spending too much time on my phone last night—swipe swipe swipe

I made the mistake of spending too much time on my phone last night—swipe swipe swipe

I sniffled into my pillow around 11 pm, miserable and thinking that we are all gonna die, starve, or be homeless. (Oh my god, I know, I know better.)

So I totally get your feeling of sliding between two crazy poles of fear and calm right now. It’s like an army has invaded our country, except it’s made of the people we love and the viruses they harbor. Now what? You can’t fight that with a missile.

How I’m turning a crazy time into a peaceful, productive, focused time

How I’m turning a crazy time into a peaceful, productive, focused time.

I’m thinking a lot about this right now.

I’m seeing peers still lobbing emails about new programs they’re launching as if nothing in the world is going on. I’m seeing my local theaters assuring me that all the seats are wiped down. And I’m hearing that the stock market is just a wreck.

I am wondering what all this means, and how long it will last, and what each of us is going to do to weather it.

Because there is A LOT we can do. I am constantly reminding myself that it’s never about what’s happening around you. It’s about how YOU are happening to it. Here are a few things I’m doing right now:

Everything you hear from me is going to be insanely, freaking positive

You know how I’m handling this? 

By making everything you hear from me going forward be incredibly positive and proactive.

Yup, this is gonna be the one blog you will be looking forward to getting over the next few weeks or months.

Because, I’m thinking that’s what I need to hear, too, right now from someone, anyone!

What will make me feel calm? In control? Absolutely facing everything head on, and yet also optimistic and sure that I’m on the right track and doing the right things through this?

Is anybody in the news or government going to give me these kinds of feelings? I don’t think so. 

They are all busy falling off the end of the earth. So I’m going to make these feelings happen for me, and you too if you want it. Read on, friends.

What 2020 will give us in this new interesting era…

I don’t forecast often, but I can’t help but think about how this virus will change us, as a culture.

What I see is that things that were “optional” are now becoming essential. Here’s are a few things I expect to see go big in 2020:

1. More work-from-home opportunities. Yeah, if you work in retail or manufacturing, you’ll still be driving to work. But I’ve managed a virtual team in my company for seven years. It is wonderful. Now a bunch of mainstream companies are going to offer more of it, too.

2. Netflix, Hulu, TV, podcasts and entertainment services in general are going to have to keep up with demand. Talkshows will record to empty audiences. But they will still reach your living room. Binge-watching is about to hit new levels.

I know you want to help someone to change. They aren’t going to. Now what?

How can you make someone change? You can’t. Honestly, you can’t. But there is something you can do.

You know that feeling when someone you love keeps telling you to act different, be different? Spend your money differently, show up at work differently, show up in bed differently? You know how annoying that is? How you just want to smack them?

You wonder where they get off thinking that not only do they get total control over their own life, but now they think they get control over yours too? No way buddy. You get your life, I get mine.

Well they think this same way about you, so if you won’t change for them, they’re not going to change for you either. 

Now what? 

There’s actually a way to make some movement on this.