Flowdreaming Podcast 585- I’m Currently Emotionally Unavailable

“I’m Currently Emotionally Unavailable. Please Hang Up and Try Again.”

Some people are so overwhelmed from too much giving that they shut down completely. I met someone like this recently and so I’m giving you a read on the dangers of being too wanted, too needed, too powerful, and super burned out. It’s an energy thing, and the key to avoiding it is….well you better listen to find out!

Toilet woman

In the stall next to me, a woman is on her cell phone.

She’s booking an appointment. I can’t tell with whom. Is it nails? Her therapist? Her oncologist? Her voice echoes over the empty bathroom stalls.

I snap the paper toilet seat cover down and sit. This is really uncomfortable. I’m going to make pee noises. The woman in the stall next to me is chatting away.

I hesitate, then I get mad. She’s the one breaking the rules, I think, not me. I am going to pee as loud as I want.

When I get up to flush, I’m frozen again. I’m thinking how awkward it must be for the person on the other end of her phone to hear all the noises of a public bathroom. I’m actually thinking about the feelings of the person the woman beside me is not thinking about at all. This is ridiculous.

I flush. It’s really loud.

As I’m washing my hands I realize that I have just seen what happens when you break a social norm. It’s not embarrassing the woman next to me to talk to a stranger while using the bathroom. But it’s embarrassing me. Because I go around thinking that everyone feels like me: I would never call someone from inside a public toilet stall. Ever. I think that everyone else thinks like me, too.

Until someone snaps that idea in half.

You’ve all blown my mind

You’ve blown my mind. Over 200 of you replied to my last blog, “No More Pretty,” or emailed me personally with love.

Wow, has this been a big a lesson for me.

First of all, I wrote that newsletter (about my new bald life) to give you permission to let go of any hidden need to come across to the world a certain way.

I wanted you to share in my liberation by finding one of your own hidden needs to release.

So I asked you to post your personal liberation, or revelation, whatever that may be.

You know what you all told me instead? That I’m pretty no matter what. Holy heck that was sweet.

Even my hairdresser texted me that I rocked the fake Mohawk in my photo (and good god she sure hasn’t seen me for awhile!).

And it overwhelmed me. All of it.

Because of course it gave rise to another thought: I’m not a loner or a solo flyer anymore. I can drop that belief now.

So there I was thinking about this as I was zipping up the freeway to Long Beach for my next cancer treatment. My mother was driving and as usual we were getting lost and chatting about work, life, kids, and yeah, chemo.

The whole time, my phone was beeping and buzzing with your comments pouring in.

And I’m wondering: “All these people really care. Why?!”

I could use some Goddess Power. How about you?

“Summer, why don’t you ever talk about…you know…sex. And Flowdreaming.”

I get this question every few months, and it’s a really good question.

Because, you’re right, I tend to avoid talking about sex and sensuality with Flow.

I’m very aware that being in Flow can certainly be a practically orgiastic experience. After all, you’re opening your emotional self in huge way and synching up with the most powerful energy in the Universe.

For another thing, my Flowdreams can be pretty evocative. After all, I’m trying to stimulate you to feel something, and get you into your emotions.

So when I thought of narrating a Flowdream about your sensuality and helping you reawaken and strengthen your natural feminine power…I’ve continuously gotten stuck at the thought: “It’s going to sound just like porn!! Oh my God!!! I know it. Ugh how can I get it to not sound porny?!”

And that’s the truth.

But I finally got over it, because I love you, and my fear of how I might sound shouldn’t get in the way of all the good it will do for you and thousands of other women.

“I love me, I love me not.” Do you have self-love? Take a quiz.

Do you truly love yourself? Let’s find out. Here’s a quick test to check your levels of self-love. Keep track of your “yes’s.”
  1. I treat myself to little splurges now and then. Not splurges that get me in debt (like paying for something on my credit card that I don’t really need and won’t be able to pay off in a month) or harm my body (like having a cigarette), but I have splurges that make me feel good and and healthy ( such as a pedicure, some Flowdreaming, taking a walk in the middle of my workday, taking a nap, etc.)
  2. I take time for myself consistently at least once a week, either as my own quiet time or to enjoy something I love to do.
  3. I take care of my body and appearance with nice clothes, a good haircut, and anything that makes me feel more powerful and confident.
  4. I’m able to stop myself from unhealthy behaviors that will hurt me in the long run (overeating, smoking, drinking to excess, calling my bad ex, etc.)
  5. When I do take time for myself, or spend a little money on myself, I don’t feel any twinges of guilt or “I shouldn’t have.”
  6. I say no sometimes, and I don’t feel guilty.