30 Things I Did in 2023

Each year around this time, I’ve reflected on everything that passed through my life over the year. With each thing I remember, I feel myself shifting into gratitude, grief, or even just contentment. The gratitude is for things that have lit up my soul. The grief is for things that are still healing and need…

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My Bright Red Aura

I’m looking all over the house for a photo of me from 2009.

I’m peeling open my husband’s office cabinets and sloughing through old photo books dug from closet depths. Where is that photo?! God it was good.

It was taken at an I Can Do It event for Hay House. That was a conference that used to bring together luminaries in personal growth into one mega conference. My job at the event was to create a second stage for all the biggest faces in spirituality and record these superstars live for internet broadcast (which was still a very, very new thing in 2009). 

So I had to 1) get my full techy geek self on point 2) get my sweet personality celebrity handler personality on as well, and 3) make sure I didn’t ruffle anyone’s feathers in the upper corporate echelon, or anywhere actually. Two out of the three weren’t hard.

In between all the sweaty armpit-iness running around, I wandered into the main conference room where there are always booths set up at conventions. You know the kind—booths with crystals, health drinks, and swishy clothes that fit every figure (yes I bought several awesome velvet beaded fringy numbers that reminded me of Stevie Nicks). 

And then there was the guy with the camera that took photos of your aura.

Now, I have grown up with this aura photos thing.

I’d been traveling through psychic fairs and Elfin Forest communes and actual real cults and all that since I was born. But yeah, give me a photo, Mr. Aura Man. I’m feeling on top of shit today. I am in command.

My “aura” was bright, unequivocally, and totally red. Maraschino cherry red. The guy handed me the instant photo with an embarrassed shrug. My heart twisted into a tiny ball of shame and horror. 

Red is the worst color you want people to see in your aura. We’re talking root chakra, worst of the worst. Nothing elevated. Nothing spiritual in that. Just base sex, unresolved family trauma, and general un-evolved spiritual yuckiness. 

In other words, I might as well have been dealing coke in the hotel’s bathroom and then crashing Sylvia Brown’s livestream with Tequila bottles in my hand right then. That’s red. RED. That’s what red aura people do. 

At least, that’s how people used to think of things.

I don’t know if the aura camera actually works, but I like them. They’re fun. But hey, I wanted to see a deep resilient purple that would shout my spiritual awareness to the world. I wanted a soothing turquoise that would tell everyone I’m a healer with the ability to speak truth.

Nope. Nope-ity nope.

Have you ever been pinned as someone or something you don’t think you are? Yeah, me too.

This wasn’t my first rodeo having this happen.  When I was younger, I learned that being a young blonde was the the #1 way to get a target on your back. So I downplayed. I ducked my head. I dressed in black. I joked and obfuscated whenever someone said something nice about me or asked me out.

 It took me thirty years to finally say. “Yeah I can do that and I do that very well.” (Whatever [that] was. I watched a lot of people shoot ahead of me while I was still figuring out that I could shine. That I should shine. 

And then finally I really learned how to say: Hey wait, I’m good at this. I do this. I Can Do It. Watch me.

Sometimes it’s so ironic it hurts.

Owning yourself, as it turns out, is a very red aura thing to do. Own your feelings. Know what you are, where you’re going, what you want. Go deep and grasp the part of you that just knows what you’re capable of, where your truest senses and talents are. And sometimes that’s hard to do when you don’t have any support to do it—when everyone explicitly or even hiddenly says not to do it.

So you end up finding yourself on the trampoline of your red aura. You jump, and you keep jumping in that beautiful twilight evening—you know that evening–the one where you realize what you’re actually able to do, can do, maybe should do, if it weren’t so [scary] [outside the box] [not good enough compared to everyone else doing it]. Up and down, shining and dimming. So unsure.

Most of the time, we shut this “owning who we are” feeling down. There’s so many reasons to shut it down.

Now that I’m in my 50s, I find myself wishing backwards sometimes for previous opportunities. I also wish forward for new ones. I, mostly, don’t care anymore what color my aura supposedly is.

My life is judged not by a photo, but by the work I’ve done with others and by the impact I’ve made/am making. It’s the people who’ve risen, flown, changed because I intersected their lives. It’s my kids, whom I hope are also stretching outward from that red aura, base part of themselves, the part that’s there to help them utterly claim what they want from their lives. My aura is made up of the people I walked with years ago, and those whom I’ll walk with tomorrow.

I want to smear the sidewalk with all the colors.

My point is, a photo doesn’t ever tell you who you are. You tell yourself who you are, by every action you do every single day, with every person you interact with. Your aura is a kaleidoscope of all the lives you’ve touched, and your own feelings about them all. Red pink black blue orange.

So red? Yeah I’ll take it. And, some hot pink too. Yup. Then let’s flick in yellow or silver while we’re at it. And purple. Green. What’s next? 

Bring them all on.

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Comments? Please let me know if you enjoyed this! Leave a note to me below.

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What is Flowdreaming and How Do I Practice It?

PART 1: Awareness of Flow Energy: What Is Flow?

The technique of Flowdreaming has three components:

  1. Awareness of Flow energy

  2. Guided daydreaming

  3. Strong, directed emotion

Flowdreaming is a process that lets you reshape your world—literally. It’s not meditation, or hypnosis, or based on positive affirmations or any other kind of program you may already know. 

It’s unique, and its purpose is to help you access the creative, energetic “underside” of life, so you can sculpt and direct your future.

It’s a big promise, but once you learn this technique, it will feel so simple and natural that you’ll wonder how you never knew about it before.

Flow is like a net or ocean of energy that runs over, under, around, and through everything in our Universe. It’s an energy of information, or a giant collection of data about everything that is, was, or potentially may be. And this net of energy or “information” has its own kind of internal, intrinsic awareness.

Imagine if every single thing in our universe had an inner understanding of what it was, or an awareness of its internal structure, or a consciousness of itself, on some very deep level. And all this consciousness put together—all this collected information or awareness— is what everything is actually made of. 

The physical things in life (apples, TVs, thoughts, wind) are just expressions of this awareness that take a physical form.

Some things, like paper airplanes, have no obvious awareness of what they are, but there’s an intrinsic “something”—a template—that makes the airplane stay an airplane. It has an internal blueprint, so to speak, and this blueprint or template is constantly changing as it continually recreates itself as it moves through time. It is slightly different every second, as the atoms within it move and decay. 

And so this paper airplane has a trail of information about itself from its past to its future. From the time it was part of a tree (and the tree grew from the earth, and back ever farther) to whatever will happen to it after it’s thrown in the trash—it’s in a state of becoming, and everything that’s ever been is recorded. 

Every single way it has changed is documented in the flow of data. This, then, becomes the information that makes up the personal “flow” of this paper airplane.

Now imagine everything in the universe—even you—with a flow of information about itself, just like this plane. This is your personal Flow, and you can see how all our Flows of “being” are all constantly interacting and changing. This is the stuff we want to affect as we learn to manifest.

The way that we affect this energy is with our minds. Today, there’s a quantum theory of interconnectedness that tells us that when someone thinks about something, they actually affect whatever it is they’re thinking about, or observing. This becomes a problem for scientists who want to objectively measure quantum information. They simply can’t, because by merely observing a phenomena, they become part of the phenomena—a participant in it.

It’s similar to when your friend is thinking about calling you on the phone, and you “sense” it a moment before the call. From the moment she thought about you, your friend becomes part of your phenomena—your Flow. 

The fact that you register it in your awareness, that you “pick up” on her intention, means that somehow, the two of you are connected. Even though you’re not in the same room, you’re still sharing information, instantly, with one another. Your mind or consciousness are both part of Flow energy, where everything is instant and connected. 

Incidentally, many physicists have also quietly come to the same conclusion. They believe that we are all connected somehow, to a vast web of life—a kind of cosmic awareness.  

Scientists as diverse as founder of Jungian psychology, Carl Jung, to Nobel laureate physicist Eugene Wigner, have all suggested that our universe has within it a kind of cosmic or overarching -consciousness—and all our smaller minds, or consciousnesses, are a part of this.

Not only does Flow create vast interconnectedness of all things, but another distinctive quality is its direction or path. Like most natural phenomena, our Flows are always traveling the path of least resistance in a particular, expansive and forward-moving direction that mirrors the evolutionary movement of life. 

Like water to the sea, your life should be easy, flowing, and in tune with this natural rhythm. You should always be expanding and adding to your awareness, as a matter of nature. And like water that never struggles to reach the sea, when you’re in your Flow, you too travel a path of ease and direction. In a riverbed, obstacles are temporary, and there’s a force (gravity) that always realigns the water into the easiest, most direct path to its destination. 

You’re likewise pulled by the force of your Flow toward your path of ease, evolution, expansion, upward direction, and fulfillment of your desires through any means the Flow has available for you.

So there you have it: Flow energy is the living energy of the -cosmos. It’s responsive, aligned, and growth-oriented and expansive. It’s malleable or sculpt-able, and it encompasses all the information that is, was, or ever will be. It includes all of our consciousnesses, and potentially the “awarenesses” or spirits of a vast number of other kinds of “beings” that have also evolved from Source energy. 

To Christians, it’s the stuff of God—His toolbox—and it’s for you to use and learn from. To all others, it’s simply the most extraordinary material you can use to paint your existence into being. Become an artist with Flow energy, and make your life your creation.

PART 2: Guided Daydreaming

As you just learned, your mind is already in the Flow, at all times. But you may need to convince yourself of it, so this is where guided daydreaming comes in. When you daydream, your mind feels like it “detaches itself” from your exterior surroundings. It “goes” somewhere, and you often don’t even realize it. 

The only difference between daydreaming and Flowdreaming is that instead of “drifting off” unaware into a fantasy, in Flowdreaming you pay attention to where you’re going. You still drift—but you watch and direct where you’re drifting, similar to having a lucid dream.

This means you close your eyes, and let your mind wander. -Daydream. If you’re a visual person, bring up an image that makes you think about the concept of Flow. 

Maybe you see a beautiful, winding river of light with an internal “aliveness” so it knows exactly where it’s going. Or, you see a starry sky with a glittering path that weaves through space, surrounded by strings of light energy moving in and out of complex and beautiful patterns all around you. Or maybe you see an ocean of light, with a current that tugs and pulls you gently toward a perfect destination.

Put yourself into this place, and feel this direction, like a bird on the wind. Feel yourself carried. Feel how expansive this place is. Feel how it’s the place “before” everything you see around you. It’s the germination point. The blueprint or matrix
of it all.

Give your mind plenty to see and most importantly, feel, here. This isn’t meditation. Don’t clear your mind. Open it—see, feel, and hear whatever images, emotions, or sounds that come to you. Open yourself to experiencing your Flowdream through all five senses. 

Can you feel the forward propulsion of movement? Can you smell the scent of sweet energy breezes? Can you touch the sands of energy that melt beneath your feet as you walk? Visualization or “seeing things” is only one sensory avenue for imagining or experiencing Flow.

PART 3: Strong, Directed Emotion (Pre-action)

The next part of Flowdreaming has to do with emotion. 

So, you know what Flow is, and you’ve “daydreamed” what this place can look and feel like. Now, how do you communicate with it? What kind of paint do you use on this canvas? You use your emotion.

Emotion is the universal language—not just between all mankind, but within the universe itself. A thousand words can’t describe the immensity of one single, strong feeling. 

The Flow responds to emotion as if you were to drop food coloring into clear water. What you feel, your Flow becomes. 

If you feel joy, your Flow radiates that joy all through it, and the physical things that manifest in your future must somehow align or support that joy. 

If you feel “release,” then your future holds opportunities for you to let go of things. 

If you feel rich (and the feelings of safety, relief, and excitement the idea of “rich” generates in you), then your future has been coded for more of these feelings and will generate opportunities for you to experience them.

I call this emotional communication method, “pre-action.” Unlike re-action, which is what we do 90% of the time, pre-action means that we’ve given ourselves permission to feel an emotion before there is any triggering event in our life to justify that feeling. 

For example, in reality, let’s say you’re ill and usually feel tired, heavy, depressed, and sick. You react to your illness with those heavy emotions all day long.

But you want to change that. So, you might go in your Flow and feel radiantly healthy, alive, and full of energy. You’re pre-acting what you want to feel in your future. 

If you feel happy, light, freed, and healthy in your Flow, you’re tasking the universe to figure out a way to translate that into your physical life. 

This is important: Your Flow must then match you. Your Flow must match your exterior state to your interior state. 

Changing your interior Flow through pre-action forces your exterior life to match whatever has been pre-acted in the interior.

Now you may have heard of this idea before: You are what you think. 

However, you’re doing more than just thinking here: you are being it through feeling it, in your Flow—the genesis point.

PART 4: Putting These Together

So here you are, in a Flowdream. You imagine or daydream what you think the Flow looks like. And unlike most daydreams, at first it feels odd, since you’re aware of yourself doing this (whereas daydreams just “happen”). 

And so you might feel a little self-conscious. You might be saying to yourself, “What do I do next?” You might worry that you’re not “deep enough” in. You might worry that you can’t visualize very well, or that you can’t feel much in the way of emotions.

I say, relax. Flow. Daydream. Allow yourself a few minutes or however long it takes before your mind lets go of its self-consciousness. 

Don’t wait for your Flow to show itself to you. You are the one who must first think it up using your imagination. Create a picture in your mind of the Flow—however it presents itself to you. Then begin to feel, or pre-act, your goals and desires. 

This next point is also very important: Feel the emotions of your goals, not the actual “things” that you’re desiring. I call these your “emotional endpoints.”

In other words, if you want a wonderful new romantic relationship, feel how deliriously happy you are. 

Sense a “presence” with you in your Flow, a partner, and how you’re adored. 

Don’t spend time on how this person looks. Don’t think about how you’ll meet. Don’t worry that this person hasn’t arrived yet. Let your Flow figure all that out. That’s the job of your Flow—to look at all the infinite possibilities present every moment as our futures are all rolling rapidly forward, and it weaves in the most accurate, perfect route or path to fulfill whatever emotional directive (blueprint) you’ve given it.

PART 5: Let Your Flow Do Its Job and You Do Your Job

This is also really important: Flow does the how, where, and when. Your job is to describe the what.

You’re the designer—your Flow is the builder. You can’t possibly forecast all the potential ways that a situation could develop in your life. The logistics are mind-boggling. But Flow has no physical limitation. It simply hears and responds, perfectly reflecting you, using itself as the medium to fulfill your wishes. 

If you want a better job, it “hears” your desire as a call for security, happiness, appreciation, and abundance in the form of income—then looks at all the flows of possibilities out there. 

Businesses and corporations all have their individual “flows,” or energy signatures. Every person has their Flow. Events have a flow of energy. Thoughts are flows of energy. Combine people, events, and thoughts . . . and there are so many ways situations can come together.

This means that when you Flowdream, don’t say or feel things like, “This is so unrealistic! How can this possibly happen?” Whatever you put in your Flow is what you are telling your Flow to do for you. 

Put in worry or doubt, and you’ll receive that back in your life. Put in feelings of fulfillment, or that your prayers have been answered, and your Flow can do that just as easily. Creating good things is not any harder than creating bad things.

You can see why so many people’s lives are filled with misery, bitterness, and unhappy events. They expect them, so they receive them.

You have to pretend you’re reading a novel. You “daydream” just like you see the characters in your head. You feel or express emotion just like you feel your characters’ thoughts and feelings. You become the story; you believe the story. You don’t sit there the whole time telling yourself “it’s just a pretend story.” No, you give yourself up to it. Do this with your Flowdream.

Now it’s time to get started! Here are a few suggestions for how to set up the right physical conditions to Flow.

PART 6: Preparing to Flowdream

1. Find a quiet, undisturbed place. You may relax on a comfortable chair or bed, be in the shower, or even just sit in your parked car at lunchtime.  Some people Flowdream while washing dishes, commuting, or jogging. Any place or situation where you’d normally daydream is perfect for Flowdreaming. (Though I can’t recommend doing it while driving or when doing anything that requires your full attention!)

2. You may use headphones or speakers, it doesn’t matter which.

3. Remind yourself that Flowdreaming is not quiet meditation. It should feel brisk and emotion-charged.

4. Don’t worry if you fall asleep. Sometimes we’re too tired to summon the emotional energy and focus we need. If you fall asleep, know that all the scrumptious words and directives are still entering your subconscious and priming you for good things!

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Comments? Please let me know if you enjoyed this! Leave a note to me below.

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Willing to Marry You

“WILLING TO MARRY YOU. MUST JUMP OVER BROOMSTICK AND LISTEN TO MILD OLD-LADYISH ADVICE FROM 4TH GEN. MINDREADER. IF IT GOES WELL, YOU’RE SET FOR LIFE. IF NOT, ENJOY THE CAKE. ANY TAKERS?” Tonight I learned that one of my cousins has a half-sister. We’re a big family, so it’s possible that I wouldn’t know…

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The Other Summer

No, I don’t need credit debt consolidation at low, low rates. Or a free entry to the Lowes BBQ free giveaway sweepstakes. Summer, I don’t need any of that. Why are you doing this to me? I mean, shoot, girl, you’re giving me nightmares. The “Other Summer” as I call her, began impersonating me about…

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30 Things I Did in 2022

Last year I posted my “30 Things I Did in 2021” list. I thought I’d do it again.

I write this list to capture my year. I cement it into my life and let remind me that a hundred good things happened to me, my family, and people I love. We often forget the sheer amount of joyful living that happened to us and because of us. 

This list will help you remember.

Do you want to do this with me?

First, this is an energy exercise as much as anything. It’s asking you to call up and touch on one bright sparkle of a moment or event, one after another, until you’re overflowing.

As we write down the 30 best things we did in 2022, we acknowledge that the year was bold, bright, healing, connected, and supportive. We shift from lack, fear, and depression into appreciation, love, and ownership.

And hey, keep writing more than 30. Stop whenever it feels right. Are you ready? My list is below.

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How to Restock Your Dreams

This post is about living living deep and well. And, recapturing that kind of living. And stranger things besides.

Some of you remember that I often say, “Go do something unusual. Do something not related to your regular life in any way. Shake up the salt. Give your mind something to chew on other than it’s usual 20 things.

I call it “stocking your pantry.”

Tonight, I’m participating, as a student, in a workshop for professional women with autism. No, I don’t think I have autism, but two members of my close family are on the spectrum. I just want to understand high-functioning autism and meet a bunch of cool ass women who’ve utilized it to become crazy successful.

Next week, I was torn between going to the Beyond the Brain conference that’s researching what happens after we die, or to see a very strange and exclusive magic show in Los Angles. Los Angeles only won out since I’d booked it months prior.

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Why “Adventuring” Is the Next Big Thing

Yesterday I had a private session with a delightful lady who was stuck in the mud. Not literally, of course. But her whole life (her flow, her vibe) was one stalled out, stuck, endless loop of indecision and subsequent anger at herself for being in this predicament.

“I’m stuck,” she said to me.

“I know,” I replied. “How’d you get this way?’

“I was hoping you’d tell me,” she said.

We picked and pulled on threads that led her to this point. But more importantly, I like to find solutions. I like to find open doorways that lead to the next point.

Being stuck is actually a misnomer. You’re aren’t stuck; you’ve just been sitting there at a pivot point for so long that you started to think all the roads and choices you had have disappeared.

They haven’t. You’ve just gotten blinder to them.

So how do we fix that?

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30 Things I Did This Year

As the year closes, one resounding thud of a thought keeps circling: I don’t want to lose this year too. I want to capture this year, keep it like a songbird in my heart.

And it’s way too easy to let it slip into blankness the way 2020 did. In other words, I feel like I lost one year, and I sure as heck am not going to lose two.

So I’m doing something to capture my year. I’m doing something that cements it into my life, and reminds me that a hundred good things happened to me, my family, and people I love.

I’m purposely and thoughtfully folding up the sweater of my memories and placing it carefully and sweetly in the drawer. This is giving me closure. It’s making my 2021 shine brighter.

Do you want to do this with me?

Here’s what we do. First, this is an energy exercise as much as anything. It’s asking you to call up and touch on one bright sparkle of a moment or event, one after another, until you’re overflowing.

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22 bullshit life purposes

Maybe you’ve always had too many interests, too many possible directions to go in. Narrowing them to “The One” has always been tough.

You can feel the old thoughts swirling: Will you ever be able to choose the “right thing” to focus on? And what about the other things—what if you’d like them more than the thing you choose and just don’t know it? 

How can there possibly be time for them all? Speaking of timing, when will one thing you want really ripen up into something spectacular….or should you drop it now and move on to the next thing that’s been patiently waiting for your time and attention?

Which way do we go, which way do we go?

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