Hair Scare

I plop into the salon chair.

The stylist hovers behind me, explaining what’s going to happen. “Your hair might smoke a bit,” she says. “I don’t want you being alarmed.”

“Like, smoke smoke?” I say.

“Yeah, it’s just the keratin fusing in.”

“And there’s no formaldehyde, right?” I ask.

“Oh there’s formaldehyde. It’s not on your head but it’s created in the off-gassing.” Then she points to a literal gas mask she’ll be wearing.

We sit for a few seconds in uncomfortable silence while I weigh the value of my life against the prospects of divinely frizz-less, straight-ish hair that I will be proud to whip around for approximately three to six months.

“Ok, let’s do it,” I say.

The Roughest Coaching Session of My Life

I just had the roughest coaching session of my life.

It was so rough, I almost can’t write about it.

I chose to have a session with a person I’ve followed since 2007. I’m curious about their mind, their outlook, their business acumen and frankly the uncompromising life they lead. It was also my birthday gift to myself.

I totally got ripped a new one.

I get on the phone. They are 18 minutes late because they forgot they’d set the appointment with me the day before, after forgetting the previous appointment we had two days before that. That’s ok, I’m flexible.

What is Flowdreaming and how Do I Practice it?

PART 1: Awareness of Flow Energy: What Is Flow?

The technique of Flowdreaming has three components:

  1. Awareness of Flow energy
  2. Guided daydreaming
  3. Strong, directed emotion

Flowdreaming is a process that lets you reshape your world—literally. It’s not meditation, or hypnosis, or based on positive affirmations or any other kind of program you may already know.

It’s unique, and its purpose is to help you access the creative, energetic “underside” of life, so you can sculpt and direct your future.

It’s a big promise, but once you learn this technique, it will feel so simple and natural that you’ll wonder how you never knew about it before.

30 Things I Did in 2022

Last year I posted my “30 Things I Did in 2021” list. I thought I’d do it again.

I write this list to capture my year. I cement it into my life and let remind me that a hundred good things happened to me, my family, and people I love. We often forget the sheer amount of joyful living that happened to us and because of us. 

This list will help you remember.

Do you want to do this with me?

First, this is an energy exercise as much as anything. It’s asking you to call up and touch on one bright sparkle of a moment or event, one after another, until you’re overflowing.

As we write down the 30 best things we did in 2022, we acknowledge that the year was bold, bright, healing, connected, and supportive. We shift from lack, fear, and depression into appreciation, love, and ownership.

And hey, keep writing more than 30. Stop whenever it feels right. Are you ready? My list is below.

How to Restock Your Dreams

This post is about living living deep and well. And, recapturing that kind of living. And stranger things besides.

Some of you remember that I often say, “Go do something unusual. Do something not related to your regular life in any way. Shake up the salt. Give your mind something to chew on other than it’s usual 20 things.

I call it “stocking your pantry.”

Tonight, I’m participating, as a student, in a workshop for professional women with autism. No, I don’t think I have autism, but two members of my close family are on the spectrum. I just want to understand high-functioning autism and meet a bunch of cool ass women who’ve utilized it to become crazy successful.

Next week, I was torn between going to the Beyond the Brain conference that’s researching what happens after we die, or to see a very strange and exclusive magic show in Los Angles. Los Angeles only won out since I’d booked it months prior.

Why “Adventuring” Is the Next Big Thing

Yesterday I had a private session with a delightful lady who was stuck in the mud. Not literally, of course. But her whole life (her flow, her vibe) was one stalled out, stuck, endless loop of indecision and subsequent anger at herself for being in this predicament.

“I’m stuck,” she said to me.

“I know,” I replied. “How’d you get this way?’

“I was hoping you’d tell me,” she said.

We picked and pulled on threads that led her to this point. But more importantly, I like to find solutions. I like to find open doorways that lead to the next point.

Being stuck is actually a misnomer. You’re aren’t stuck; you’ve just been sitting there at a pivot point for so long that you started to think all the roads and choices you had have disappeared.

They haven’t. You’ve just gotten blinder to them.

So how do we fix that?

30 Things I Did This Year

As the year closes, one resounding thud of a thought keeps circling: I don’t want to lose this year too. I want to capture this year, keep it like a songbird in my heart.

And it’s way too easy to let it slip into blankness the way 2020 did. In other words, I feel like I lost one year, and I sure as heck am not going to lose two.

So I’m doing something to capture my year. I’m doing something that cements it into my life, and reminds me that a hundred good things happened to me, my family, and people I love.

I’m purposely and thoughtfully folding up the sweater of my memories and placing it carefully and sweetly in the drawer. This is giving me closure. It’s making my 2021 shine brighter.

Do you want to do this with me?

Here’s what we do. First, this is an energy exercise as much as anything. It’s asking you to call up and touch on one bright sparkle of a moment or event, one after another, until you’re overflowing.

22 bullshit life purposes

Maybe you’ve always had too many interests, too many possible directions to go in. Narrowing them to “The One” has always been tough.

You can feel the old thoughts swirling: Will you ever be able to choose the “right thing” to focus on? And what about the other things—what if you’d like them more than the thing you choose and just don’t know it? 

How can there possibly be time for them all? Speaking of timing, when will one thing you want really ripen up into something spectacular….or should you drop it now and move on to the next thing that’s been patiently waiting for your time and attention?

Which way do we go, which way do we go?

2020 gave us gifts (here’s what they are)

2020 gave us gifts. Here’s what they are.

I’m sitting here wrapping up work for the year, planning on taking a few weeks off for the holidays. I feel like before I go, I want to send you all a note about this year. This crazy, crazy year.

Like you, I started 2020 dreaming up big things for myself and others. And like you, I found myself stuttering and swerving as more and more fear and ridiculousness swung my way: COVID-19, the California wildfires and unprecedented number of hurricanes, the fight for BLM, and a near miss with the breakdown of democracy in the U.S. Unfathomable. It’s as if the Universe rolled up all it had and tossed it to us: “Take that, Americans. If you don’t learn from this, I don’t know what it’s gonna take.”

And learn we have.

The pattern master

The Pattern Master

(Another long but good article on why we bother with personal growth.)

I’ve been sending my book manuscript out to agents lately. I wrote what I thought was a rippin’ hot pitch letter and included the juiciest bits of my writing samples.

I’ve had just four replies, all rejections.

Then, last night I was lying in bed watching “(Un)well,” a new TV show that explores all kinds of alternative therapies. The first show was about essential oils. And it struck me: they were explaining things that I already knew about, that I already “got,” there was nothing new here. But they were acting as if I’d never heard of oils before and was clueless about the whole exciting and dramatic industry!

I realized in that moment that my pitch letter has been falling on deaf ears. I’ve been acting like every potential agent already knows all about patterns, blocks, and personal growth. I’ve been approaching them like they’re insiders, long-timers. They’re not. Most of them have barely heard of Tony Robbins. They’re probably wondering what the hell I’m writing about.