I could use some Goddess Power. How about you?

Health & Wellness, Love & Partnerships1 Comment

“Summer, why don’t you ever talk about”¦you know”¦sex. And Flowdreaming.”

I get this question every few months, and it’s a really good question.

Because, you’re right, I tend to avoid talking about sex and sensuality with Flow.

I’m very aware that being in Flow can certainly be a practically orgiastic experience. After all, you’re opening your emotional self in huge way and synching up with the most powerful energy in the Universe.

For another thing, my Flowdreams can be pretty evocative. After all, I’m trying to stimulate you to feel something, and get you into your emotions.

So when I thought of narrating a Flowdream about your sensuality and helping you reawaken and strengthen your natural feminine power”¦I’ve continuously gotten stuck at the thought: “It’s going to sound just like porn!! Oh my God!!! I know it. Ugh how can I get it to not sound porny?!”

And that’s the truth.

But I finally got over it, because I love you, and my fear of how I might sound shouldn’t get in the way of all the good it will do for you and thousands of other women.

I’m going to make you jealous

Change & Transitions, Health & Wellness15 Comments

Of all the comments I received in response to my July 17 newsletter, my favorite one was from a woman who wrote me that “cancer saved her life.”

How this woman put my whole email into instant perspective like this is remarkable.

Because it’s true for me too: cancer saved my life.

Not that there was anything wrong with my life.

For the last five years, my life has been arcing upward into more and more happiness every day. Just about everything on my “manifesting list” (about 90%) has come true already.

I’ve actually had to write up a whole new list! And that was tough to do, since most it what I wrote was simply along the lines of “Just give me more of this, please” with a sprinkle of “going bigger” items.

Being in Flow has caused my entire life to reshape itself and turn inside out. All my priorities have shifted. All my expectations have grown.

When I learned I had cancer, I cried for three days straight and mourned what I thought would be a “loss.”

I had fear that I’d lose my breast, hair, and my once-pretty figure. That I’d lose my health, and even my life. That I’d lose a year to horrible anti-cancer treatment. That I’d lose my company, Flowdreaming, during this year. That I’d even lose my faith, since how did I manifest cancer for god sakes?

None of those things are happening.

Being ill is expanding my life.

I love myself…but you loving me? That’s more difficult.

Cancer, Health & Wellness, Resistance, Spirituality36 Comments

Honestly I’ve started and stopped writing this email at least three times. Not only have I not written anything to you in several months (aside from my newsletter last week), but now that I am, it’s incredibly hard to get my thoughts focused.

It’s that “I don’t know where to begin” paralysis.

So how about this: right now, my daughter Lexi is sitting on the bed with me eating chocolate covered strawberries. I’m laying down with bloody drains coming out of my side, trying to take as little pain medication as possible. I just had a mastectomy.

Every day this week, my friends have been bringing my family meals. It’s only the fifth day after surgery and already my refrigerator is stuffed full. My bestie Jen sent the chocolate strawberries. I have bouquets of flowers surrounding my bed and heaps of cards on my table.

And part of me wants to text everyone and tell them to stop sending things and bringing food, because I’m fine goddamit, and then another part of me reminds me that I still need help just putting my clothes on, or brushing my hair.

I know this might be a surprise. People who live a “straight and narrow holy life” aren’t supposed to get things like cancer, are they?

I remember feeling the same way when Wayne Dyer, my radio cohost for many years, got leukemia. And when Debbie Ford, another friend, got cancer. And when Jerry Hicks got cancer.

It doesn’t make sense. Yet of course it does make sense, if we only had the wherewithal to know what was really going on Upstairs.

Nevertheless, I’m going to save the “why I manifested cancer” epistle for another post, because instead I need to explore something more immediate that’s popped up that I’m struggling to understand in terms of Flow, which is how to receive.

Yep, that old bad boy, coming around for yet another round.

What an irony, I think, that I’ve practiced the art of Flowdreaming and manifesting to where I create some truly dazzling things, but even so, here I am rubbing up again against that same ceiling.

You know how I found it this time?

A pool party and a fire-balled car…my Saturday night

Change & Transitions, Family, Health & Wellness, Luck9 Comments

Last night, my husband’s car caught fire and blew up in the street. It was parked in front of our house.
 
Around his car were twenty other parked cars owned by the parents of most the kids in my daughter’s 6th grade class.
 
What the heck happened?

The backstory:

Our daughter Lexi is in Cotillion.
 
In San Diego, at least, Cotillion is a Madmen-style 1950s-1960s last-ditch attempt to teach our kids wedding dances and manners before they head into middle school.
 
The kids suffer through instructions and dances in hot stuffy suits and scratchy dresses and pantyhose at a very classy racetrack ballroom.
 
I offered to host a little swim party after the kids’ first lesson to help break the ice, since few 6th grade boys relish wearing ties and dancing with girls. I asked all the parents to come too, to help us get to know each other.
 
So the kids are having a great time cannon-balling in the pool, my husband is mixing margaritas faster than the parents can gulp them, and the front and back doors to our house are wide open with parents and kids spilling from front-yard to back.
 
At around 10 pm, one dad says, “What’s that?” and points out the front door.
 
My god, that’s a fireball in the street.
 
That’s my husband’s car.