The pattern master

Inner Power, Passion & Purpose1 Comment

The Pattern Master

(Another long but good article on why we bother with personal growth.)

I’ve been sending my book manuscript out to agents lately. I wrote what I thought was a rippin’ hot pitch letter and included the juiciest bits of my writing samples.

I’ve had just four replies, all rejections.

Then, last night I was lying in bed watching “(Un)well,” a new TV show that explores all kinds of alternative therapies. The first show was about essential oils. And it struck me: they were explaining things that I already knew about, that I already “got,” there was nothing new here. But they were acting as if I’d never heard of oils before and was clueless about the whole exciting and dramatic industry!

I realized in that moment that my pitch letter has been falling on deaf ears. I’ve been acting like every potential agent already knows all about patterns, blocks, and personal growth. I’ve been approaching them like they’re insiders, long-timers. They’re not. Most of them have barely heard of Tony Robbins. They’re probably wondering what the hell I’m writing about.

The Flower That Grows Too High Is The First To Be Cut

Passion & Purpose, Self-Love & Self-TrustLeave a comment

There’s an old saying that the flower that grows too high in the field is the first to be cut.

In other words, don’t stick out.

Which is also saying, “Don’t be seen.”

Except that being seen is exactly what you’re striving for. Everything you offer to the world is something you’ve made, written, done, carved, studied for, put together, etc. You’re wanting an audience for it. You want clients for it — customers, admirers, readers, viewers, consumers. You want people to share it with.

You say you try to be seen all the time. “I write newsletters! I speak on stages! I get in front of the room to read my latest proposal to the team. I stick my hand up in meetings and I even have a gorgeous website to showcase myself on.”

But is that enough? Because at some point, you back down. You give up. You slink away and say, “I tried and they rejected. It always happens.”

And that is that. You grow no taller than the flowers around you. To go any further would be too risky. Something would be put on the line. The bigger flowers are right: you are not good enough.

Ooof. That hurts.

Outgrowing Your Relationship Is Normal

Passion & Purpose, Self-Love & Self-Trust7 Comments

Yes, the downside to pursuing a life of personal growth is that you might outgrow your friends and family and zip right past them.

Seems like a weird thing to worry about, but worry about it we do. Because when it happens, it’s painful. It’s sad.

I’m not going to bother with the whole crabs in a bucket story because I’m sure you’ve heard it.

Your friends and family fit who you are right now. We’re all floating on the same level of awareness in our big bathtub of life. If we connect, then we’re generally at the same level.

However, you’re maybe not so content with this level. It’s got some icky parts. You’re tired of the negativity. Tired of the constant lack-thinking. Fed up with the family bullshit. Done with feeling stuck in work that leaves you totally exhausted yet unfulfilled when you come home.

Softness is strength

Passion & Purpose, Self-Love & Self-Trust7 Comments

Softness is strength. But sometimes we forget.

Our world thrives on the critical. So much so, that when we’re real and soft with each other, it’s suspect.

Lies make all the good shows on TV. Think Preacher, Barry, Game of Thrones, Orange Is the New Black. All depend on lies to spin them forward.

Realness and vulnerability are so much harder to write, let alone act.

That means these are rare, and what’s rare is coveted. Which means you are coveted. Because you are not a lie. 

Take this moment to feel how real and soft you are. It’s a rare and divine commodity these days. Forget what they say about being hard and tough. Hard and tough is easy. It’s walled, shielded, and thick. Bricks are easy to come by. 

The truly strong let their softness walk through their front door, knowing the risk, and they still take it. And because you do that, you are truly strong.

Old rusty windmills and “Mom is always working!”

Born to Make, Entrepreneurs, Jobs & Work, Passion & Purpose, Wealth1 Comment

Every one of us Makers who’s growing a dream, building a business, or trying to see our project turn into something rewarding knows the feeling of hitting a “stop point.” I call it flatlining.

We do everything to push things along, then as our returns start sagging, we slow down and eventually slide to a full, disappointed stop.

This is your dream, your baby, your idea or talent starting and stopping like an old rusty windmill.

You use all your resources. You Flowdream. You look up strategies on websites. You get a little lost and take a stab at a few things until again you slide to a halt.

• You have an email list that’s half built.

• You have ideas for a website, but no site (or the one you made yourself 4 years ago).

• You have flyers for your sessions but they sit on your desk undistributed.

• You have names of prospects for your business but you have phone-phobia and no one ever gets a call from you.

• You attended two conferences and three online summits to learn how to monetize your make, but now you don’t have time to implement anything you learned. You never open your notebook that you wrote so excitedly in all those days.

Paper Flowers, Authentic Expression, and “Making”

Born to Make, Entrepreneurs, Jobs & Work, Passion & Purpose, Wealth4 Comments

Let’s Talk Making Each Day Count

I just spent the day in Old Town San Diego. It’s the historic spot of our town where the original settlers put up their houses along the El Camino Real trail. You get to eat truly excellent Mexican food and dress up in old-timey clothes for photos as you wander the old streets.

I haven’t been there in years since I was a kid. I remember pining for bouquets of those giant bright Mexican crepe paper flowers there … and my mom getting me weird-tasting sarsaparilla candy instead.

I looked around and thought about all these people making things and manifesting their authentic expression: Making art, making food, making music, making sales, making laughter, making memories.

Everything we do, all the time, is Making. Even when we’re binge-watching a Netflix show, we’re making ourselves relax.

Exposure, truth and braggarts

Change & Transitions, M.E. School, Manifesting, Passion & PurposeLeave a comment

ME: “How’s your business doing?”

THEM: “Great! I just did a TedX talk. Then I closed $800,000 in sales and found my soul mate. Then I met God and he sat me down for coffee and told me I was His favorite. Plus, I look super hot. And everyone loves me.”

ME: “Oh. Awesome for you.”

. . .

I go to events as part of my work where conversations like this abound. Lots of well-heeled, overly made-up and smartly dressed people get together to talk about how amazing they’re doing. And how they want to collaborate with you. And they want to know if you know so-and-so, because they know so-and-so and just left his private island (or mastermind or personal vacation home).

Yes, if I sound jealous, it’s because it’s meant to make you jealous. The whole thing is like a Facebook page in flesh: now you don’t just see photos of my awesome trips, best selfies, cutest pets and smarter kids, but I get to wave it around to you in person.

You know how you feel after your Facebook or Instagram binge?

Inside the mind of a personal-growth addict

Change & Transitions, M.E. School, Manifesting, Passion & PurposeLeave a comment

YOU:

  • Read countless blogs and attend a million webinars to try to figure out how to grow your business / fall in love / feel better about yourself / name your thing [ ].
  • Try one or two things from the most recent blog or webinar. They don’t work.
  • Wonder why they worked for someone else.
  • Think something is wrong with you.
  • Buy an online course. Maybe that will fix it.
  • Don’t finish it. Who has the time?
  • Are overwhelmed at work.
  • Actually I.D.G.A.F. about work. You’re on the hamster wheel of work.

Are you Diamond worthy?

Change & Transitions, Intuition, Manifesting, Passion & PurposeLeave a comment

Diamond worthy.

Loves, you are ready. It is silly to keep trying to get “more ready.”

Ready for what?

To grow. To launch.

To LAUNCH.

How does your heart respond to those words? Launch means moving with full sails toward your dreams. Launch means all the past failures are over, and won’t ever be repeated. It means you’ve come back out of your shell, and are ready for the sunshine and cool breezes again.

But wait, you say you need to fix all the struggle and lack, and cash-flow and inner healing FIRST. You say you aren’t ready. That there’s more to do to be ready. You can’t Go Big yet. You have to prove to yourself you’re worthy of it.

You say you can’t give to yourself until are successful.

Old habits, new habits and why procrastination is poison

Health & Wellness, M.E. School, Passion & Purpose, Spirituality2 Comments

I found myself drifting into old habits this year. After two years being essentially “clean” from those demons fear and lack, those nasties found their way into my bed again.

This year, I launched a new company: inflowradio.com. I knew it’d be work. I knew I’d have to shift my focus and become a magician at keeping balance. But I fell off the tightrope.

The habit I broke during chemo (of going into fear and lack) was just waiting for a weak moment. It was waiting for my next big challenge.

Big challenges are where your old habits can find a grip again.