“WILLING TO MARRY YOU. MUST JUMP OVER BROOMSTICK AND LISTEN TO MILD OLD-LADYISH ADVICE FROM 4TH GEN. MINDREADER. IF IT GOES WELL, YOU’RE SET FOR LIFE. IF NOT, ENJOY THE CAKE. ANY TAKERS?”
Tonight I learned that one of my cousins has a half-sister. We’re a big family, so it’s possible that I wouldn’t know this. But still.
My brother did the text introduction and and casually mentions, “Katie’s sister arranges for ministers to marry people.”
After I ask who said-sister is, I mention, “Oh weird, I got my minister’s license a few weeks ago.”
My brother is confused. “You did? Uh, why?”
“Yeah, no particular reason. It just felt like the right thing to do.”
Silence. This is his sister; he knows me. I do things like get minister’s licenses for no reason and such.
“Yeah well maybe you can marry Katie’s sister’s clients.”
“I’d only do ceremonies on a full moon.”
“Actually,” says Katie a bit later, “a lot of our weddings are non-denominational.”
Good. I will welcome all the corporeal (embodied) guests and incorporeal guests as well (e.g. everyone you’ve loved who’s, uh, not currently in a body).
I’m literally a minister now, folks. You may call me Reverend Summer.
I’ve already got ideas for long dizzying flowing white cotton garments that evoke an otherworldly, celestial vibe against the crashing sea as blossom petals float through the gentle night air and loving partners quietly whisper their undying love as I raise my hands in eternal pronouncement.
And then I remember that only the bride wears white. Damn.
Black it is, then. Except funerals wear black too. Maybe I’ll settle for a quiet rose.
I’m thinking quite truthfully of hitting up a few dozen weddings. I could use some cliffside views and genuinely interesting, celebratory people in sweet happy moods.
I told Katie sternly but with only a *hint* of sarcasm, “I refuse to marry anyone when Mercury’s retrograde, I might mention the Universe, might mention an odd deceased relative or two who happens to be hanging out in spirit throwing congratulatory kisses…and oh, even better if the couple’s on “Team Woo Woo” with me. What da ya think?”
Katie says back, “Great. That’s a good demographic.”
No, really she didn’t say that. But she said something close to that.
So this weekend, I get to decide if I want to officiate some weddings.
What do you all think? My interview is tomorrow at 3.
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Comments? Please let me know if you enjoyed this! Leave a note to me below.
Thanks for the morning giggle.
Loved it!
As an amateur competitive ballroom dancer, a studio owner asked me to teach a few wedding couples. The couples were wonderful and found it rewarding as did I. Works for me. Would much prefer you to any number of ministers I’ve met.
What a lovely idea! Love knows no bounds and neither should a wedding. How interesting and fun! Anyone who has you preside over their wedding will be blessed indeed. Thank you for sharing.
I think you will be fantastic. Those that select you will be truly blessed and know that the spirits are with them. I just wonder if you meet a couple and the guides tell you, oh boy, this is a mess waiting to happen, what will you say?
This is so amazing. 🤩 shows Summers gifts to know where she’ll be needed. I love this so much and to be married by Summer would be a dream! Thanks for sharing I loved the story, just one more incredible step forward for you. ❤️
lol
Enjoyed this so much. I saw many people who actually jumped over a broomstick to marry as a child, so I loved the opening. You should do it and see if you like it!