There’s an old saying that the flower that grows too high in the field is the first to be cut.
In other words, don’t stick out.
Which is also saying, “Don’t be seen.”
Except that being seen is exactly what you’re striving for. Everything you offer to the world is something you’ve made, written, done, carved, studied for, put together, etc. You’re wanting an audience for it. You want clients for it — customers, admirers, readers, viewers, consumers. You want people to share it with.
You say you try to be seen all the time. “I write newsletters! I speak on stages! I get in front of the room to read my latest proposal to the team. I stick my hand up in meetings and I even have a gorgeous website to showcase myself on.”
But is that enough? Because at some point, you back down. You give up. You slink away and say, “I tried and they rejected. It always happens.”
And that is that. You grow no taller than the flowers around you. To go any further would be too risky. Something would be put on the line. The bigger flowers are right: you are not good enough.
Ooof. That hurts.
Right now, I can think of a dozen actions that I won’t do because they seem too big for me, too impossible, too risky, and too easy to feel rejection around.
I won’t call up the head of Amazon Prime and propose a new TV show idea.
I won’t reach out to Ted talks.
I won’t send personal emails to the heads of all the NYC publishing houses.
I tell myself I won’t do these things because I don’t even have their contact information. But I know that if I really really wanted that, then a few months sleuthing on Linked In would probably turn it up for me. So I know that’s an excuse, a reason why I tell myself it won’t work, so why try.
See, I’m already prejudging that these people don’t want to see me. I’m not important enough to be seen by them.
I realize that I don’t even consider myself a tall flower, so why should they?
I tell myself that’s rational. And since I know I’m right, why put myself through the pain of rejection?
Except, in reality, I’m just scared. Just a plain scared rabbit, doubting herself.
And if I went for it, and if these people still didn’t see me, refused me, in fact didn’t even acknowledge me at all, then I have just gained proof that I’m right: I’m not important enough to merit being seen on a bigger level.
I can’t risk potentially feeling that feeling. So I protect myself. I’d rather live in the apprehension of not being valuable, than have real proof that I’m not valuable.
Isn’t the being seen conversation fascinating?
If we are seen, then we risk being judged, rejected, ridiculed or disliked. We risk being the tall flower cut first in the field.
If we are not seen because we prevent and protect ourselves from being seen, then we are simply ignored. We might be sad, frustrated, or bewildered by our lack of admirers, but we at least aren’t going to risk being judged, disliked, exposed, or thought of as too full of ourselves.
Being seen might mean losing friends and family who no longer “get us” or who are jealous or uncomfortable with our success.
Being seen might mean we can’t hold on the success, and we’ll lose it, which might feel worse that not being successful in the first place
Being seen might mean we’ll be exposed for the imposter that we are. They’ll see that we’re just pretending to be so great at what we do.
Oh god, the risks of being seen!
No wonder we all chirp longingly for it like a flock of silly birds, but we never really go for it. And when we spot people who do, we spread judgment on them as thick as butter.
The only way you will ever be seen is when you can totally get over yourself and make what you create be more important than your own feelings.
In other words, when what you give or offer is more important than protecting yourself, then you will be seen.
But to have that faith in what you offer, you have to have faith in yourself…
…that you are simply amazing at what you do. That the world truly needs what you do. That people will be better off because of what you do. That if you don’t give what you do to as many people as you can, then you are failing in your calling.
That is some strong mojo. But do you have that faith?
Maybe some days you do, some days you don’t. As I write these words right now, part of me thinks this is the Lord’s truth spilling out my fingers, and another part thinks I sound like a pompous jerkwad and all this has been said before, so who am I kidding?
It feels much safer and easier to be humble and hide than it does to feel like God’s gift to the world.
So let’s try a different sort of humble. One not based on inferiority, but on simply getting over yourself.
You’re the messenger, not the message.
What people think of the messenger is irrelevant.
The message is too important not to be carried.
And gulp, you’ve been selected to carry it. Now what?
What would be released in you if you truly felt that way? Can you have that degree of faith in the message you carry?
Do you believe you can continue to be the container that holds it no matter what the cost?
Because this is why your flower is small.
Screw that. Go let the sun pull you up into the sky, where all can see you. Shine your message. You’ve been selected.
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P.S. Great Flowdreams to help you grow big include Be Seen, the Ready to Grow Big Playlist, and Limitless Playlist. Plus don’t forget about my amazing membership for you conscious entrepreneurs: Born to Make!
