It’s cold – as in air-conditioning cold – in the hotel conference room. I’m gathered with a bunch of other women at a self-development conference, and we’ve been picking apart our lives (in between shivering or baking) all weekend.
Many of the women are coaches. In fact, I’d say 80% are, which is why this weekend has been so difficult for us.
You know the old saying: “The emperor has no clothes”? It refers to a fairy tale in which an emperor is hoodwinked into believing that two tailors have made him the most handsome outfit in the world. However, if you’re stupid or ignorant, he’s told, you can’t see the clothes. Of course, this is all bullshit and the tailors made nothing. The emperor walks naked down the street in a procession, yet all his townsfolk except one honest child are afraid to say what they really see.
Today we use this phrase to mean that we sometimes portray things about ourselves to others that are deeply untrue, because we’ve hoodwinked our own selves into believing them. It means we can be hypocrites, that we’re false under our own words.
I find that coaches often carry this energy in their own Flow. It’s embarrassing. Here we are, leading people into knowledge and guiding them toward their desires, while our own desires are unfulfilled and we fail to follow our own advice.
Think: the plumber whose own pipes are always broken. The accountant whose own accounts are a mess. You get the idea.
The question is: Does this mean we’re truly illegitimate? Hypocritical? Are we sipping our own Kool Aid? Are we wearing no clothes?
This weekend, I saw inside a love coach who won’t let anyone get close to her. I saw a business coach whose accounts are always in the red. And I saw myself, supposedly in Flow, but actually carrying out an old drive for survival at any cost.
My reaction? I love everyone through it, even myself. I’m not a hypocrite, and neither are they.
If you think about it, every single one of us chooses a career based on our fascination with the subject. For instance, you choose to be a writer since you love writing, and you want your crummy writing to improve to where you sell a million books.
Maybe you choose to be a business coach because you’ve always struggled with money and self-worth, so you propel yourself to study it every day, and even teach others about it, so you can fix and grow it in yourself.
I got into Flowdreaming since I tend to want to control everything and everyone in my life. Control makes me feel safe. Manifesting and controlling the Universe felt like the Ultimate Control. Yet Flow continuously pushes me to let go instead. That’s why I know so much about Flow and manifesting now: I’ve had to live Flow’s lessons personally and deeply, every day, since it pushes my buttons. It pushes me into my walls, limitations, and fear, and that fascinates me. My work pushes me to break those, go past those, and find freedom, power, and release instead.
Likewise, the love coach is learning and surpassing the exact things her clients experience and need to surpass.
And the accountant knows the helplessness and fear of not having enough income.
The game-changer occurs when we grow through the challenges that fascinate us, because then we become the perfect leaders for others. It’s like I’m saying: “Check it out! I’m just a few miles ahead of you on this trail! I don’t know what’s coming next, but I can help you with where I’ve just been.”
This feeling is in stark contrast to feeling guilty or hypocritical. If you can’t lead someone through something, then tell them. Don’t fake a thing. You don’t need to.
The energy of hypocrisy diminishes and distorts your Flow and your future. It weakens you. Can you feel that? It creates secret doubt: “Am I good enough for my job?” “What will happen when they find out I’m not as good as they think I am?” “Will that man I’m dating leave me for someone better once he discovers my ‘bad’ parts?”
We call it insecurity, but what I see more often is more fundamental: We simply don’t trust ourselves. We don’t trust that “I’m good enough.”
With Flowdreaming, you can practice feeling good enough. You can tell Flow: “Here’s what I’m getting good at. Help me.”
I’m always telling my Flow: “Help me release my need to control. Help me go beyond fear. Help me receive whatever I need next. Give me opportunities for pleasure, and balance. And if what I discover helps others, then that’s awesome!”
Listen up, love. You’re good enough. You can breathe. Relax. You’ve got this. Whatever you’ve chosen to do or learn or discover – it’s perfect. And the right people will know that, and follow you.
Tell me, do you ever feel hypocritical? Do you fear being “found out” that you’re just pretending? Do you think everyone can tell that you are, in fact, wearing no clothes? Post below and let’s air out this issue.
My true love to you all,