2020 gave us gifts. Here’s what they are.

I’m sitting here wrapping up work for the year, planning on taking a few weeks off for the holidays. I feel like before I go, I want to send you all a note about this year. This crazy, crazy year.

Like you, I started 2020 dreaming up big things for myself and others. And like you, I found myself stuttering and swerving as more and more fear and ridiculousness swung my way: COVID-19, the California wildfires and unprecedented number of hurricanes, the fight for BLM, and a near miss with the breakdown of democracy in the U.S. Unfathomable. It’s as if the Universe rolled up all it had and tossed it to us: “Take that, Americans. If you don’t learn from this, I don’t know what it’s gonna take.”

And learn we have.

We’ve learned how resilient we are. We’ve learned to be adaptable, and how to steer our hearts in a good, loving direction even when it feels impossible. We’ve learned to take care of ourselves and others. We’ve learned that our lives and fates aren’t just our own narrow little things, but overlap and affect others for better or worse. 

I also learned that I was….tired. Not to say unproductive…I recorded my teachings into two new books and brought in my last gathering of ME Schoolers for our whirlwind adventure in growth. I homeschooled two teenagers and got a puppy. I supported my Born to Make and private clients and produced numerous playlists for my shop that had been on my to-do list for years. I got the Flowdreaming app fixed…and fixed again. And I updated my entire Flowdreaming shop and website to a new platform.

As I said, I was busy. But emotionally? Depleted. Like a lot of us, I realized that the downward pressure, like heavy storm clouds pushing down the barometer, was a constant. To adapt, I began to release things and pare down — make my load lighter. 

I paused my podcast in July, after 668 episodes and 16 years running. I let go of constant posting to social media. I reduced my work hours. I didn’t launch any new programs or special series.

Instead of making more new things, I focused on reshaping myself.

I decided that M.E. School and my catalog of hundreds of hours of classes needed to change shape. Instead of generating constant new content, I found myself looking at all I’d previously done and noticing that I’d been habitually letting it disappear into the mists. I decided it was time to collect, sift through, and pull out the gems for the future—to create thoughtful longevity for the teachings of Flowdreaming.

Like so many of us, I pared down so I could hold the weight of all the new emotional burdens life has flung to us this year. I found that the heavier outside events got, the lighter I needed and wanted to be inside. Snip, snip—the scissors came out. And like a set of folded paper snowflakes, what emerged is starling and new.

This hasn’t been comfortable, not at all. It’s hard not knowing what new shape my teachings will take. I really, really love certainty and predictability, so I fought it for months, but something continued to whisper, “It’s time to change shape. It’s time to change shape.”

Changing shape involves uncertainty, which is the operative word this year, don’t you think?

Uncertainty is also another way of saying “Flow.” Flow with events, flow with life, flow with what you’re given and what you’ve made. Be in the uncertainty.”

But also, be in your power. 

I learned that being in your power means seeing exactly what’s going on outside you, yet still maintaining an inner course based on your emotional endpoints—in other words, “What feelings do I want life to help me create?” (as opposed to just reacting to everything that everyone else has created).

It’s this divine balance between what life gives you, and what you give life. The point of true power is directly in the middle of both. 

So as we wrap up this year, maybe take a few minutes to sit outside with a cup of tea and think about the feelings you want to encounter next year: renewed hope, relief, connection, safety—those are top feelings for many of us right now.

Then, Flowdream with these feelings. Imprint your desires into life and ask that events, people, and opportunities come in to match these feelings. Guide the boat, don’t steer the ocean. 

And with that, I wish you the happiest new year. I wish you success and abundance. If you need a swift turnabout into brighter opportunities, then I wish you that. And if you found this year to be one of your best ever, I wish for you to stay the course and continue climbing.

I wish you whatever you need to feel excited, peaceful, relieved, healthy and loved. Because you are.

P.S. Please leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts about the year, too.