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every pony does not need to ridden

I got as far as downloading the Clubhouse app to my phone, and my fingers froze desperately over the fateful “tap.”

ME: Ah crap, I’m thinking, not another social media platform. They’re like ice cream flavors of the week.

OTHER ME: But my friends are there! All these interesting movers and shakers are there! It’s my medium too—all talking, I whine. I’m missing oooouuuutttt. Please. Pleeeeease.

ME: Stop it, Summer.

Friends, I had a MySpace page. It was very hip and cool, and just by using the words hip and cool, you know exactly how old hip and cool I am.

But then came Facebook like a steamroller, and we all became Facebook.

And Twitter. And Pinterest. Don’t forget LinkedIn! 

YouTube made us all “have” to do video (gotta have a channel!)

And then Instagram (okay Insta, you do get some affection from my heart).

Each one carved a little bit of space from our lives…10 minutes here, two hours there, adding up….adding up. We don’t even chat in lines anymore…we’re all on our phones, interacting with the ghostly posts and stories of others. 

I was standing in the CVS pharmacy line the other day, and instead of remarking to the other woman beside me, “Isn’t it weird how they stock all the tampons and Depends in the pharmacy line aisle? I mean, what’s up with that?” the ladies and I all had our phones out, scanning futilely for texts from our kids or looking at strangers’ posts of cakes to while away the time.

My point is, social media companies will keep coming around for the rest of your entire f’ing life.

You will adopt them and shed them like snake skins every few seasons. But my god is it tiring popping from one to the next, worried about building an audience…even if it’s only an audience of likes for your own personal validation.

Oh yes, I am basing on social media (and if you don’t know “basing,” it means, like, shitting on it. I’m pulling out ALL the 90s lingo tonight.)

I love social media for getting us closer (Hello Class of 1989!) but I hate it for the feeling it gives me as I ponder the Clubhouse App. It makes me feel like I’m missing out, like I want to be everywhere at once and I can’t be, that no matter how much time I give it it’ll never be enough since that beast’s maw is bottomless.

You might be wondering how this relates to personal growth.

It does, in so many ways. One, it gets me into scarcity thinking pretty darn fast.

When we seek growth, basically what we’re telling the Universe is, “I want to transcend my shit, heal it, be over it, be my own free authentic being. Screw anyone who doesn’t ‘get’ me.”

But when you’re chasing the demon of social approval and social exposure, you’re often doing just the opposite. Ouch, right?

Finding your authenticity in social media can be the most rewarding experience. “I’m this and if you like it, great come along!”

But when you feel the push to bleed yourself through ALL the social media…dripping bits of yourself here and there, never really keeping up, wondering which one is best….then friend, we gotta problem.

My problem.

I want to tap the Clubhouse button so bad, so bad. But I also reflect on my purpose for being on social media at all: I want to a) make friends with people I genuinely like, b) tap into interests of mine with like-minded folk, and c) spread the gospel about Flowdreaming.

My best way of doing this is my “I Love Flowdreaming” Facebook group (because it’s where I am most often) and my #summer_mcstravick Instagram channel (sorely neglected but still shimmering like a promise in my heart). Like, those are my people. 

But Clubhouse….Clubhouse, if you want into this tidy little sphere of mine, you’re going to have to oust one of those. Are you ready for that? Because my growth isn’t just about how much more time you can suck from my life. It’s about making real stuff, for real people, and teaching real classes. So alright, I’m “Clubhouse curious.” Can we leave it at that?

My point is that you don’t have to ride every pony. Even though you want to. Instead, ride one or two. Make the pony you choose be your bestie.

You want to grow and create a glorious life for yourself. You don’t want a crap life full of being pulled in everyone else’s direction but your own. 

Make social work for YOU, not you work for it. This too, is right in line with your personal growth.

 

 

 

P.S. Thoughts? You know I wanna hear your comments? Social media lover, or social media hater?

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3 Comments

  1. Kim nero says:
    May 6, 2021 at 6:32 am

    When I became pregnant with my daughter I moved about an hour away,from LA,where I’d had a life and friends for 20 years.Yes,an hour away isn’t THAT far,but with a small child and responsibilities,it also isn’t THAT close to go grab a few minutes,or hours with friends.I began to feel isolated,pretty quickly.Not overly dramatic for me,because I’m decidedly independent.I am the one who moved 3,000 miles away from everyone I knew at 22 ,and never looked back.When one of the few friends that I reallly connected with moved to Virginia about a year after our meeting,she suggested we keep in touch on FB.It’s been a great experience for me.I reconnected with cousins who were young,when I left.Fellow classmates,who became the friends we were too immature to be,in school,due to differences,talk to like minded music and German Shepherd lovers,and local friends who are busy.That’s where I ended it.It does take up time.I don’t need another platform to distract me.I see it occuring in my daughter’s mindset,helpless to stop the consuming nature of it all,especially during Covid,when she’s isolated,as it is,from her friends,who all have many different outlets that do the same ,to them.I appreciate what Facebook has allowed for me to be a part of and hope my daughter will find the balance between her virtual and real time,life.

     Reply
  2. Liza Zanoni says:
    May 6, 2021 at 5:09 am

    Quite so Summer,quality over quantity and believing every platform needs to be part of a business plan,or a part of your everyday routine is neither desirable or sustainable….I remember being told a long time ago there are only so many clothes we can wear, dinners we can eat, and things we can do in one day.Whenever,or whatever makes me feel ‘indentured’ or as if I ought to be ever present with the oddly hollow, empty ‘hungry ghost’ feeling that accompanies it, I reassess and release the activity/commitment so I can give more fully to showing up here and now🤗🐞

     Reply
  3. Palma Lee Stephens says:
    May 6, 2021 at 3:56 am

    I’m addicted to my iPhone. My favorite places are Facebook and YouTube. Several hundred “friends“ on Facebook!! I spend hours at these places and I love and hate it. I hate it because many hours are lost I feel.

     Reply

Author: Summer McStravick

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