I always see you loving yourself last

I always see you loving yourself last.

Why are you doing that? Loving yourself last, I mean. Who taught you that? It’s terrible. Stop doing it. Stop it so your own kids won’t learn that from you.

Oh someone told you that good people put themselves last? Do unto others before you do unto you?

You ever see those old Looney Tunes Chip and Dale cartoons?

The two chipmunks are so over-giving (“You first. No you first!”) that neither of them gets anything. They can’t receive. It’s a lose-lose. And we laugh at it since we get it so deeply somehow.

And forget that stuff about being a saintly martyr. You aren’t a martyr because you like it. You hate it. It boils your blood and makes you feel lonely and righteous. These are horrible feelings.

You put yourself last because you’re scared, baby. You’re scared that if you put yourself first, all those delicate relationships around you will get rocked. You think your family will suffer, your friends will call you braggy, and your boss will wonder why you’re no longer a team player.

You think that if you shine, and give yourself what you need first, you’ll be a selfish little pisspot like all those other selfish little pisspots you see and hate out there. Self-serving bitches. 

Except, you could never be that. You don’t ever need to fear that. 

Old rusty windmills and “Mom is always working!”

Every one of us Makers who’s growing a dream, building a business, or trying to see our project turn into something rewarding knows the feeling of hitting a “stop point.” I call it flatlining.

We do everything to push things along, then as our returns start sagging, we slow down and eventually slide to a full, disappointed stop.

This is your dream, your baby, your idea or talent starting and stopping like an old rusty windmill.

You use all your resources. You Flowdream. You look up strategies on websites. You get a little lost and take a stab at a few things until again you slide to a halt.

• You have an email list that’s half built.

• You have ideas for a website, but no site (or the one you made yourself 4 years ago).

• You have flyers for your sessions but they sit on your desk undistributed.

• You have names of prospects for your business but you have phone-phobia and no one ever gets a call from you.

• You attended two conferences and three online summits to learn how to monetize your make, but now you don’t have time to implement anything you learned. You never open your notebook that you wrote so excitedly in all those days.

Paper Flowers, Authentic Expression, and “Making”

Let’s Talk Making Each Day Count

I just spent the day in Old Town San Diego. It’s the historic spot of our town where the original settlers put up their houses along the El Camino Real trail. You get to eat truly excellent Mexican food and dress up in old-timey clothes for photos as you wander the old streets.

I haven’t been there in years since I was a kid. I remember pining for bouquets of those giant bright Mexican crepe paper flowers there … and my mom getting me weird-tasting sarsaparilla candy instead.

I looked around and thought about all these people making things and manifesting their authentic expression: Making art, making food, making music, making sales, making laughter, making memories.

Everything we do, all the time, is Making. Even when we’re binge-watching a Netflix show, we’re making ourselves relax.

Flowdreaming Podcast 444: Going Big – Totally Scared of Success

I want it! But I’m scared of what people will think! I’m scared of being powerful, and rich, and SEEN!

Does this sound like you? Do you think it’s kinda crazy, too? You’re not alone”¦TONS of people feel this way. You want to become hugely successful in your work and life, but you hang back”¦afraid of something you can’t put your finger on. Summer deconstructs the emotional energy behind this and puts you in Flow to release all fear of success. Get ready to be seen with the Going Big! Playlist at Flowdreaming.com.

Flowdreaming Podcast 610: Unconditional

Unconditional love. We think we’re able to be unconditional, but are we really?

Most of us put conditions on everything, trapping ourselves in an if/then universe. Feel what happens when you let go of rules, expectations, and rewards and just allow. There’s gold in unconditional love, unconditional trust, and anything else…so let’s find what that feeling is like. Then, the Ask and I Will Receive Playlist at Flowdreaming.com will lock it in.

Flowdreaming Podcast 608: Able to Float (Softening into Life)

Work, work, work. Get ahead, do the right thing. Succeed. Be perfect.

 After awhile, the hamster wheel slows. Maybe we retire. Maybe we burn out. Maybe we’re facing (or recovering from) an illness. Maybe we’re in that long stretch between jobs, or careers. And we realize ”¦ we don’t know how to float, to soften in. We lost the ability to trust, and revel in the delightful things. We frantically push out of this phase instead of releasing into it. We are afraid to stop hustling and just enjoy. And even if you do, we time-limit the experience. If this is you, then listen in to learn how to soften, deepen, and cherish this phase instead of fighting it. My Easy, Flowing Life Playlist can help.

In this episode:

5:08 – Discover the patterns we have that pull us into resistance when things are going well

7:18 – Find out how most of us spend the majority of our time in stress

11:20 – Learn what “learning to float” means

12:30 – Hear how trust plays a huge part in how we can enjoy life

15:00 – Get into a mini Flow with Summer taking you to a place of relief