I've never struggled with depression before. Sure, I'd had down moments, but I'd always been able to pull myself out of them fairly quickly. So imagine my frustration when I felt down, and couldn't get out of that funk. I've spent the last two months in this state of foggy sadness. I tried every trick in the book, and I just couldn't seem to get my head above water. When you're feeling depressed, you really don't feel like moving let alone meditating, interacting with people, etc. I'm in the house a lot now due to circumstance, and this is where it all started. I felt trapped, and with my husband working 15 hour days, I also felt alone. I had no idea that I'd slip down the slope so quickly or that it would be so hard to climb back up.
First, I started a workout routine. Since I was depressed, I kept it simple. Nothing too challenging, but enough to get my blood moving every day; something to force me out of bed in the morning. It helped, but not enough. Very frustrating! Then last night, I was catching up on the flowdreaming podcast. I spent 2 hours flowdreaming for Joy and Happiness. I focused everything I had on just feeling joyful, happy, thankful, and carefree. I ended up falling asleep on the sofa, and when I woke up this morning I felt lighter. I got up without thinking about it, took a shower, and started cleaning the house singing as I went along.
I feel amazing today, and not even a dip in my mood so far. I forget about flowdreaming for a while as life gets crazy not realizing that this is when I should be flowdreaming more, not less.
In just a couple of hours, I accomplished something I hadn't in two months. I don't know if I'm out of the woods yet. I've never been depressed like this, so I have no reference point. What I do know is that I think I might be coming up for air finally, and that I expect by next week if I keep flowdreaming daily, I'll be back to myself. I'm looking forward to that!
