I suffer from the “great idea” syndrome. In other words, I’m always thinking of what I think are good ideas. Then I (often) fruitlessly try to get other people to go along with them. What I’ve had to learn over the years is this: 1) not everyone will see the value in what I offer, 2) if I feel strongly about my idea, then I’m probably going to have to make headway on it myself and quit waiting for other people to help me, and 3) if it genuinely is a great idea, then my Flow will likewise scoop me up and help smooth the way for its implementation.
Let’s start with #1. For many years, I’ve been in a position where I’ve offered some excellent business ideas to someone. These are ideas that will really make her business take off—and likewise I’ve told her where she’s made some pretty obvious business blunders. The problem is, my friend never actually asks for my opinion, and this is hard for me, since I think I have such good opinions to give (sound like anyone you know?), and I know her industry well. However, lately I’ve finally had to face the idea that to her, my ideas are always lead—not gold. This hurts me. It hurts that she doesn’t think I can offer her anything of value. It hurts my self-esteem, since somewhere along the way I realize that I’ve tied some of my self-esteem to what she thinks of me. This is because I care about her, and want her to think well of me.
This has probably happened to you, too, somewhere in your life. Someone you care about (it could be your mom, brother, friend, or even your boss) doesn’t value your opinion, and since you judge your own value based on what they think of you, you always lose out. What can you do about this? What can I do about this?
This brings me to #2. Sometimes our ideas are clunkers, but often they aren’t. They may just need a little tweaking to get them right. Or they may need a lot of effort or resources. But if you have an idea and you have the passion to fulfill it, then who, really, is to stop you? You might say that you need help. You need the authority. You need funding. You need emotional support. Your list can get very long of all the things you think you need. You can look at any one of the big obstacles in your life right now and create a nice list of all the things you need to fix it as well as all the ideas you had to fix it that were tossed out. The bottom line is, sometimes you just have to pick something a go for it, and stop thinking that anyone else has to think it’s a good idea too. True, you could be wrong. The idea could be lead. But your only other option is often paralysis—you don’t go for what you think is right because you aren’t supported or are told you can’t and on and on.
So where does #3 fit in? That’s the concept that some things will flow for you, while others won’t. Golden ideas flow. The energy of life is behind them. Clunkers largely sink. Some bad ideas do seem to perpetuate themselves longer than you’d think is possible, but that’s always because they have an enabler involved. The enabler might be a big source of funding, a bad boss, a family member, or someone or something invested in them even as their project or job or relationship is crumbling. Bad ideas don’t heed the Flow, and if viewed correctly are allowed to wash away so good ideas can take their place. So, what if you have an idea for something (a new career, a new way of handling your relationship, or even new hobby you want to take up), but you can’t find support for it? If you were me, I’d go for it anyway. I’d begin to see what happens—do I get resistance or do I get opportunities? And what, you say, if your ideas are blocked? What if my boss or husband or someone who really counts is opposed to it?
If that’s the case, then step back a minute. Ask yourself, are my ideas habitually blocked? Is this a large source of frustration in my life? If the answer is yes, then pull back from your latest greatest idea and begin asking the larger question: Why am I allowing so much blockage in my life?
….and to answer that one, it’ll take a whole other post.
*To support your creative or entrepreneurial idea, I suggest the audio CD Flowdreaming for Enhanced Creativity and Success.
Tags: career, conductivity, frustration, Synchronicity, work
Hi Summer,
I’ve wondered about why some lead ideas stay afloat longer than would be ideal. Enablers makes so much sense, and sometimes I’m the enabler. Knowing when to let go of an idea/project/thing/relationship is so key to staying in the flow and frees me to put my energy into the gold ideas.
I love how you put a suggested CD at the bottom of your post. It gives us another tool to work further on the ideas you post. A gold idea!
Fantastic entry!
What a relief to read your post! I recognized myself. I look forward to your follow-up post because I do feel paralyzed. I’ve even stopped trying to have ideas since so many of them seem so big that I don’t know where to start. When I have tried to start an idea, they haven’t gone anywhere. Thump!
Glad to know I not the only one.
Just think Summer, had you not had the confidence to be a “go for it” personality, with all of your other ideas, you wouldn’t be the successful person that you are today. Your amazing ideas have helped so many of us. I say to always follow your inner instincts. I always remember the movie “The Absent Minded Professor” where the scientist invents flubber…many thought his ideas were crazy, but he didn’t listen and followed his passion. You are so right with this post, and, for some it is hard to make that move out of a comfort zone and just act on an idea. Great post to share…thanks again!
Hello Summer;)
“This has probably happened to you, too, somewhere in your life. Someone you care about (it could be your mom, brother, friend, or even your boss) doesn’t value your opinion, and since you judge your own value based on what they think of you, you always lose out. What can you do about this? What can I do about this?”
There is a dynamic to this; it has to do with investment of ourselves in others. Somewhere in the psychology teachings there is the concept that when we do something for someone else we actually become invested in their success. So if I gave you something or did something for you, I would become more invested in your success. It is like a “Join Up” in the energies. This is only natural, we all do this to some extent depending on what the nature of the relationship is.
My sense is that the answer lies in experimentation. And so I suggest (invest) that you think of questions about the situation and find an answer that feels better to you than the ones you have found so far.
You could ask yourself:
How is my desire to help them making them feel?
Am I able to communicate clearly with them?
Are they being intentionally malicious?
How would I feel if I hadn’t made the investment?
What would I have missed out on if I had chosen differently?
(you will know the most appropriate questions and they probably aren’t listed here)
If your answers lead you to blame, shame, guilt, judgement or some other useless emotion then you will probably want to change the questions or follow the feeling more. Let it flow out behind you in your flow, nudge, nudge, wink, wink…
I know Summer that you only want the best for everyone. I see you as having positive and loving motivations. I would also suggest that those involved also have the same motivations. Working from that assumption, you could find all involved faultless, let everyone be who they are and love them just the way they are. This may take some time and emotional distance, but ultimately may serve all involved. You would then stand in your power because you are now choosing how you want to feel, not being blown about by every wind.
My sense at this point is that this is an answer for someone else, maybe not so much for you.
Thanks so much for all that you do.
All my best to you and yours Miss Summer:)
Rena
Rena,
Thanks for your comment. It was definitely meant for me (and probably others, too. Thanks, too Summer for all you do!
Gael
Rena’s comment:
“…you only want the best for everyone. I see you as having positive and loving motivations. I would also suggest that those involved also have the same motivations. Working from that assumption, you could find all involved faultless, let everyone be who they are and love them just the way they are. This may take some time and emotional distance, but ultimately may serve all involved. You would then stand in your power because you are now choosing how you want to feel, not being blown about by every wind.”
Gael,
You are most welcome. Thank you for taking the time to acknowledge my comment. A nice give and take…
Have Fun!
Rena