Alright, this post is blatant rip off from Brazen Careerist. I read Penelope Trunk’s blog regularly, not because I’m always looking for business advice, but because I like her. She’s someone with just enough neurosis—and personality—to fit well in my own quirky family of renegade thinkers. For instance, she’s always telling us that to do well in business, you just have to be likable, not skilled. And because of her, I’ve decided that I’m not particularly likable. Though I am highly skilled.
Anyway, she posted recently about how to find your life’s work. Now, this is coming from a woman who’s written for yahoo business, and other fancy big-name sites. Penelope has also worked for corporations—as have I. She’s had start-ups. So have I. And she’s got young kids in the midst of it all. So do I. So I was curious to see her advice, and after I read it, I thought, Gee, what would I say?”
I think most of us have wandered into our careers, rather than chosen them. Few of us set a goal, got a job, and worked our way in our selected field until we found that perfect niche, that ultimate job, that showcases all our talents, and makes us happy and rich.
Instead, we’ve taken what’s offered—the best we can find—in any area we think we might have a talent for. We always keep a burning thought in our mind of what we want or could be doing, but getting from A to Z is too much work amid just keeping it all afloat in our lives. So, I would say this to the question of “What should be doing with my life?”
First, recognize that you may never find that “ultimate” career. Your life may be more like a buffet, where you sample many pleasurable—and some awful—dishes. You’re moving from one experience to the next, “interviewing” each passage or phase of your life to see what it can offer to you. Change will come (it always does), and the good phases will drop away, along with the bad.
The idea of continuity in our lives is made up. Few people “become something” like a doctor or lawyer and stay that way all their lives. Even doctors and lawyers change their minds. Last week, a woman in a conference I was moderating told me she was in finance (a lawyer), and had just decided to get out. She had no idea where to go next. She just knew she had to end this phase.
A person who understands this—that what we “do” in our lives is always in the making—learns to be especially artful in the Flow. We see ourselves as riding a track, skating along, pausing sometimes for long intervals as we explore something (a teaching career, raising kids, selling real estate, working in the factory), then moving on once the experience is over. We learn that our lives are more like a quilt, with every patch of experience sewn into place—some poorly and haphazardly, while others are crafted with love. But at the end of the day, the quilt is our masterpiece, because we lived it. And every square brings memories to our minds.
When I think about my perfect career, or what I should be doing with my life, I never find the “right” job for me. Sometimes I think spreading the word about the Flow is my ultimate calling—because the Flow found me and often seems to use me for its own ends. And at other times, I think raising my kids is my calling. Sometimes, I look at my talents in my current job, and think, I’m pretty damn good at this. Maybe this is It. And sometimes, I let my mind wander and turn up all kinds of crazy ideas, unrelated to anything I’m doing in my life at all.
My point is that you will be many things. You are here to have many experiences. You won’t go in a straight line. That’s boring. You’ll go in zigzags and backtrack and sometimes even repeat yourself. The only thing you need to do is focus on what makes you feel good. Balance that with what pays your bills. Eventually, those two desires WILL come into alignment, like two roads merging to meet another.
So stop looking. Instead, Flow feelings of joy, appreciation, stability, and creativity when you think of your work or unknown life purpose—whatever it is that flicks your Bic. Pre-act these feelings, and allow your Flow to bring you the next most interesting thing it can find for you. Then explore that for awhile, suck the juice from it . . . and move on toward the next ripe fruit.
Tags: career, flow, life purpose, money
Great post, I can’t agree more.
Summer:
I just read your post and want to go back and read it again and again. I’ve been asking myself lately “When can I find time to explore more of my interests in photography (new career interest as I am a stay at home Mommy- 2 1/2 yr old) when I am spending so much time working on healing, subtle energies that I’m learning to shift and become aware of, Source consciousness . . .” I seem to be a Hay House junkie and can’t get enough!! My goal this week is assess the situation and see if I can find some balance in focus. This blog is something I can totally relate to. Thanks.
Wonderful Post Summer!
Don’t let anyone…even you convince yourself, that you aren’t particularly likable. Could be that some people are jealous. You are amazing.
Hi Debbie,
I appreciate the note of encouragement. I think what I meant was that (to glean from an earlier post) I’ve lately discovered that I’m the kind of person who’s willing to make the sacrifice of being “less liked” if molding myself to someone else’s expectations means changing or lowering my own. I’d rather be my own quirky but competent self than be someone everyone adores. (That is,if I had to make the choice! I always ask my Flow to bring me situations that are harmonious to both my inner self and my external world, so I have fewer either/or choices like this in my life.)
Great post, Summer and I also agree! Sooo many people are experiencing soooo many major life changes, yet you rarely hear people say: ‘I regret that it happened, otherwise I wouldn’t be in this new (insert situation here) which I’m glad of!
Michelle
Thanks for interesting post Summer.
Got a few things felt like saying… first one… you are sounding more and more like your mother….lol….second one is I made a vow to myself some time ago that the word “should” I would intend to not use in my life…. choice and exploration is my approach.. rather than a sense of “should” in life. You should stop using the word should Summer… just joking
Do as you please…. the third and final things I would like to say, yes, I see life is much more about journey than a destination…good reminder and finally.. you are very likeable Summer…
take care and happy flowing more joy and fun in life
Thank You Summer
This blog is very timely, and feels like a validation for me.
Thank You for “Flow Dreaming”. Until I participated in this technique, I was unable to meditate in a traditional manner……(walking and listening to music, is calming & drawing, colouring, paper mache….LOL calming)
My “Flow” very often appears to be a river of thick rich dark or white chocolate…with a sparkly rainbow coloured waterfall, I am trusting this means rich with abundance and prosperity……and finding me soon!!
Visualizing, and actually seeing is coming….so I love that Feeling is so important too.
Thank YOU.
Summer, I am so enjoying your blog. When I read your and Venus’s blogs, I feel like I am sitting with you in your respective homes having a conversation and casual cup of tea.
This blog really hits home with me as I am in transition job-wise. Thanks for your input; it’s definitely helpful.
Palma Lee
P.S. You are very likable, by the way, and you have a lot of sensitivity–just for the record.
Love that last paragraph!
As of a few seconds ago, I’ve stopped looking. I will just focus on joy and appreciation
Yey!
Summer, you are such a joy and help. I am a strong manifester thanks to you and others out there. I am so single-minded right now in my life, like tunnel vision, that I am manifesting clients, free trips to see clients, work for more company and my jewelry, that is making so happy. Yes, there are moments when I am a doubter, but I am learning to control more and more. And I am prospering as the others around me are not. I know it is because I control my life and how I handle it.
Just wanted to say thank you!
Nicole
What a wonderful post Summer. I just had this conversation with someone today, about how I have floated from many different careers and have never found my niche. But in each job I have held, I met people or learned something that led me to my next phase…I never stopped learning/growing from the experience, and I have never had regrets because of what I learned along the way. Those “zig zags” you talk about are true, and we gather what we have learned and take it with us. You are so right, and I have learned this, and I try to think of my purpose as what I am doing now, in this moment, and then I “feel” purposeful. I also have kids, and so my purpose is to be a good mom, too. I am learning to do what makes me “feel” good, and say “no” to many things that don’t, which frees up my energy. I think deep down inside, many of us instinctively “know” what we want to do, or what we are good at…and many people tell us what we are good at along the way, but we don’t listen. Many of us have a talent, but keep it buried inside. You bring up good points that many feel it is too much work, or we take a job for security and remain in our comfort zone. In this time, when many are being laid off, now is a good time to re-evaluate our talents and maybe try something we want to do. I am older, and have been going back to college to complete my degree because I am listening to my inner voice. Yes I will be older when I finish, but I will get older anyway, so what the heck. I really connected with this post, so thank you!
Thank you Summer! Your post is an answered prayer. I have been like a chicken without a head searching for what is right for me. Now I feel I can relax and take a breath.
Dear Summer,
This is a very lovely post. Thank you for sharing.
It reminds me of one of your Hay House radio show a couple of years back. I remember that you were taking the example of crafting an object or working on a particular project that is dear to us.
While creating something unique we live a unique phase of our life, and even when we decide to move on, we can always look back at the things we made and done like a past experiences.
Thinking of our careers as a panoply of events and experiences rather then just a unique goal or a set job, really does takes away the pressure and allows us to really “live”.
Thank you!
Giulia
(Julia)
Just what I needed to read! Thanks Summer, I am grateful for all you do!
Summer – what a wonderful, true, and insightful post! I have been a fan for about four years now and have learned so much from your radio shows, CDs, blogs, and books. And your insights always resonate with what I feel like I already know inside, but don’t always have a connection to, giving me “aha!” moments. I’ve been working on changing careers for a couple of years now and reached a point where I just wanted to settle into something I know would be satisfying and meaningful and…permanent. Although I know very well that wouldn’t be the case, I’d gotten tired of the changes and was seeking the feeling of a deep exhale, a feeling of being at home with my work. But maybe I could have that feeling without expecting my new position to be the “perfect and permanent” career. And that’s perfectly OK and in flow~
Thank you for being you and sending lots of love and light to you & your family!
Sol